Rekindle Your Catholic Marriage: Strategies For Success

how to save a catholic marriage

Saving a Catholic marriage is no easy feat, but it is possible. Couples can seek guidance from the Church, mentors, and counseling services to strengthen their relationship and overcome challenges. Prayer and forgiveness are essential, as is recognizing that change begins with oneself and that marriage requires sacrifice and hard work. The breakdown of a marriage can be devastating, especially when children are involved, but by seeking help, practicing empathy and compassion, and prioritizing their relationship with God, couples can find their way back to each other and build a stronger foundation for the future.

Characteristics Values
Pray together Prayer reinforces the sacramental bond God has created between the couple
Forgive each other Forgiving your spouse is easier when you see them changing the behaviours, actions, or attitudes that you find irritating or problematic
Believe in the power of the sacrament Believing in the power of the sacrament and making the Lord a priority
Seek help from other Catholics Seek out other practicing Catholics who can mentor them in having a healthy and holy marriage
Understand God's plan for marriage God's plan for marriage includes dying to self, being open to new life, and trying to help your spouse get to heaven
Develop other forms of love Develop the other forms of love that go beyond romantic love: friendship, love of family, and sacrificial love
Seek counselling Seek help from counselling services, such as The Alexander House, Holy Family Counseling Center, and The Love Means More (LMM) initiative

cyfaith

Pray together as a couple

Prayer is a cornerstone of Catholic marriage. Couples who pray together every day have a much lower divorce rate than those who don't. Praying together as a couple is about more than simply praying; it's about striving to become one in spirit.

Couples often pray, but not as a couple, and extra-curricular church activities can eat up a lot of the schedule, leaving little time for prayer as a couple. However, it's important to make time for it. Prayer reinforces the sacramental bond that God has created between the couple, reminding them that God stands at the centre of their relationship. It teaches them to rely upon God and trust in His providence as they face life's difficulties.

When praying together, it's important to remember that God is at the heart of your marriage. Pray for guidance, for strength, and for the grace to overcome any challenges you may be facing. Be honest and open with each other and with God, and seek to deepen your connection through prayer.

In addition to praying together, it can also be helpful to seek out other practising Catholic couples who can mentor you in having a healthy and holy marriage. Workshops and retreats are also available to help couples build intimacy and learn how to solve conflicts in healthy ways.

Finally, remember that personal growth and change are important aspects of a thriving marriage. As one source says, "if you want lasting happiness in marriage, your first commitment must be becoming a better person – a more empathic, loving, caring, compassionate person".

cyfaith

Forgive each other

Forgiving each other is a crucial aspect of saving a Catholic marriage. While it can be challenging to forgive your spouse, especially if they seem unwilling to change, it is important to remember that only God can change people. Spouses should focus on their own self-improvement and seek God's help in becoming more empathetic, loving, and compassionate people.

In the Archdiocese of Detroit's publication, a counsellor shares that many couples he has met were attentive to each other during courtship but seem to become deaf to one another's wishes over time. What was once seen as a charming habit can now be viewed as an irritating fault. This is why it is important to seek God's help in changing oneself, as Jesus says in Matthew 7:3-5: "Why do you see the speck in your neighbour's eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye?" By focusing on our own faults first and allowing God to transform us, we can become better spouses.

Forgiveness becomes easier when you see your spouse actively working on changing the behaviours, actions, or attitudes that you find problematic. However, true forgiveness is about letting go of resentment even when your spouse seems unable or unwilling to change. This can be incredibly challenging, and it is important to seek help early on rather than waiting until the pain is unbearable.

Prayer plays a vital role in Catholic marriages, and couples are encouraged to pray together, not just individually. Prayer reinforces the sacramental bond God has created between the couple and reminds them that God stands at the centre of their relationship. It teaches them to rely on God and trust in His providence as they navigate life's difficulties. Attending Mass together and praying daily can significantly strengthen a Catholic marriage and reduce the likelihood of divorce.

Additionally, it is important to remember that marriage is a sacrament, and God has a plan for it. As Catholics, we believe that marriage is a covenant that mirrors the covenant between God and His people. By seeking to understand God's plan for marriage through Scripture and Catechism, couples can align themselves with God's will and find guidance in their journey towards reconciliation.

cyfaith

Seek couple's counselling

Seeking couples counselling can be a great way to save a Catholic marriage. It is a way to address issues in a marriage before they become too big to handle. Counselling can help couples to understand each other better and work through their problems together.

One source suggests that couples should seek out other practising Catholics who can mentor them in having a healthy and holy marriage. This could be a good first step for couples who are unsure about counselling or who want to try other avenues first. The source also recommends a one-day workshop to build intimacy and learn how to solve conflict in healthy ways.

Couples counselling can be particularly useful when couples are dealing with issues such as infidelity or when one spouse is considering moving out. Counselling can help couples to address the root causes of their problems and make changes to improve their marriage. It can also be a safe space for couples to discuss their issues without fear of judgement.

In addition to couples counselling, it is important for Catholic couples to remember the spiritual aspect of their marriage. Prayer and reflection can help to strengthen the bond between spouses and remind them of the sacramental nature of their union. Attending Mass together and praying together as a couple can help to further reinforce this bond and keep God at the centre of their relationship.

Finally, it is important for couples to remember that change takes time and effort. Saving a marriage requires commitment, self-examination, devotion to hard work, and the development of new skills. It is also important to seek help early on, rather than waiting until the problems become too big to handle.

cyfaith

Make time for each other

Making time for each other is essential for a healthy Catholic marriage. Couples should strive to spend quality time together, sharing their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. This means creating opportunities for meaningful conversations, listening attentively to one another, and showing genuine interest in each other's lives.

In the midst of busy lives, it is easy for spouses to become distant, focusing on their individual pursuits and neglecting their relationship. Greg and Julie Alexander, who counsel couples through The Alexander House, a nonprofit organization, recount how they let their high-paying careers take precedence over their marriage and family, leading to a breakdown in communication and mutual contempt. Therefore, it is crucial for couples to prioritize dedicated time for each other, ensuring that their work, social commitments, or even church activities do not consume all their attention and energy, leaving none for their spouse.

Prayer is an important aspect of a Catholic marriage, and couples should make time to pray together as a way of uniting spiritually and seeking God's presence in their relationship. Praying together strengthens the bond between spouses and reminds them that God is at the center of their union. It also helps them rely on God's guidance and provision as they navigate life's challenges. However, it is worth noting that prayer should not replace quality time spent in conversation and shared activities.

Spouses should also be intentional about creating opportunities for fun and enjoyment in their marriage. This could include engaging in shared hobbies, trying new activities together, or simply enjoying leisure time in each other's company. By making time for fun and shared interests, couples can cultivate a sense of playfulness and mutual enjoyment, enhancing their emotional connection and creating lasting memories.

In addition, spending time together allows couples to address issues and resolve conflicts in a timely manner. When spouses are actively engaged in each other's lives, they are more likely to notice signs of distress or discontent early on and work through challenges together. This proactive approach to conflict resolution can prevent small issues from escalating into major problems that threaten the stability of the marriage. Relationship issues and conflict are common themes in marriages, and addressing them promptly can help prevent marital breakdown.

Making time for each other in a Catholic marriage entails prioritizing spiritual unity, open communication, shared experiences, and conflict resolution. By investing in their relationship and seeking to grow together, spouses can foster a deep and enduring connection that reflects God's love and grace. It is also important for couples to understand that marriage is not always pleasant, and that sacrifice and hard work are necessary for a lasting union.

cyfaith

Believe in the power of the sacrament

The sacrament of marriage is a reflection of the covenant between God and His people. It is a sacred bond that requires a deep understanding of its true meaning. Ivonne, a Catholic, shares her perspective on the importance of believing in the sacrament: "We really need to start believing in the power of the sacrament. It's Christ." She looks forward to the day when God will ask about her husband, Tomás, and she can express her profound love for him.

The sacrament of matrimony is a divine blessing that bestows endless grace upon a marriage. This grace has the power to transform every aspect of the union, allowing it to better reflect the Lord's love. By seeking guidance from the Holy Spirit and opening themselves up to His wisdom, couples can navigate their difficulties with grace and strength.

Couples can also draw strength from their shared prayer life. Praying together as a couple reinforces the sacramental bond God has created between them. It reminds them that God is at the centre of their relationship and that they can rely on His providence during challenging times. Additionally, prayer fosters unity and helps couples become "one in spirit," mirroring the oneness in flesh that they experience.

Believing in the power of the sacrament means recognising that only God can change people. Spouses should focus on their own self-improvement and growth, rather than trying to change each other. This involves humility, self-examination, and a commitment to becoming a better person—more empathetic, loving, caring, and compassionate. It is about sacrificing one's pride and working towards mutual growth.

Lastly, believing in the sacrament means understanding that marriage is a lifelong journey that requires training and sacrifice. Just as an athlete trains for success in sports, couples must be willing to put in the effort to build a strong and happy marriage. This may include attending workshops, retreats, or counselling to gain practical tools and enhance their relationship. By investing in their marriage and prioritising their commitment, couples can weather the challenges and find lasting happiness.

Frequently asked questions

Here are some ways to save a Catholic marriage:

- Pray together as a couple.

- Believe in the power of the sacrament of marriage.

- Forgive your spouse and focus on changing yourself.

- Seek help from a priest or a Catholic counselling service.

Catholic marriages can break down for various reasons, including infidelity, irreconcilable differences, and a lack of understanding of the commitment and sacrifice required for a successful marriage.

The divorce rate among Catholics is about 50%, similar to the general population. However, it drops to 16% for couples who attend Mass together and 1% for those who pray together daily.

Some warning signs of a Catholic marriage in trouble include a lack of communication, infidelity, and a sense of falling out of love or growing apart. Seeking help early on is crucial to addressing these issues effectively.

Written by
Reviewed by
Share this post
Print
Did this article help you?

Leave a comment