Joshua Bennett
The concept of self-love has been a topic of discussion within Catholic circles, with varying interpretations. While some emphasize the importance of loving oneself as a foundation for loving others, citing Jesus' teachings, others argue that the focus should primarily be on loving God and one's neighbor. This debate revolves around the interpretation of Scriptures such as Mark 12:30-31, where Jesus states the two greatest commandments: loving God and loving one's neighbor as oneself. The Catholic faith emphasizes the importance of understanding one's identity as beloved children of God, created in His image, and recognizing the value He has bestowed upon us. This understanding of our worth can lead to a balanced love for oneself and others, as God intends. However, caution is advised against a narcissistic love of self that pushes God out of the picture. Ultimately, the Catholic perspective encourages a love for oneself that aligns with God's love and His vision for our lives.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Love yourself, but not at the expense of God | "There can only be two basic loves…the love of God unto the forgetfulness of self, or the love of self unto the forgetfulness of God." |
| Love yourself as God loves you | "We are called to share eternal life with Him." |
| Love yourself, but not in a narcissistic way | "A narcissistic love of self tends to push God out of the picture." |
| Love yourself, but not in a way that leads to contempt of God | "It is only as we focus on the source of Love, that we will have that Love which has value to give to others through our words and actions." |
| Love yourself, but be cautious of the secular self-care movement | "The human heart desperately desires to be known, affirmed, and loved." |
| Love yourself, but don't make it an idol | "The focus on self short circuits 'love' in destructive ways that may not be immediately obvious." |
| Love yourself, but don't put yourself first | "The standard for loving others is 'as if it were yourself.'" |
| Love yourself, but don't neglect your flaws | "We want to reject the effects of our brokenness in fallen human nature." |
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What You'll Learn
Self-love is not selfish
The Catholic Church teaches that self-love is not selfish, but rather a good and necessary thing. This is because God has created each person uniquely in His image, and He wants people to take care of themselves physically, mentally, and spiritually.
However, the Church also warns against a narcissistic love of self that pushes God out of the picture. Instead, Catholics are called to love themselves as God loves them, with humility and mercy, and to see themselves as God sees them. This balanced approach to self-love allows Catholics to love more perfectly and be who they are meant to be.
According to St. Augustine, in the Lord's commandments to love God and neighbour, there is also an implicit commandment to love oneself. He argues that a man who loves God will not err in loving himself as well. However, if self-care or self-love causes one to disregard the will of God or the good of one's neighbour, it has become selfish.
The Catholic Church recognises that humans are fallen and that there is often a tug of war between their desires and God's will. Therefore, it is important for Catholics to focus on God as the source of Love, which will enable them to love others through their words and actions. This functional love, rooted in God, is what Catholics strive for rather than a self-centred love that can lead to dysfunctional relationships.
In conclusion, self-love is not selfish when it is ordered towards God and others, and when it recognises the unique identity and worth that each person has as a beloved child of God.
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Self-care and indulgence
Catholicism encourages self-care and self-love, but only when done in moderation and with the right intentions. Self-care is about more than just treating yourself to indulgences; it's about taking care of your mental health and well-being, which includes setting boundaries and saying no when necessary. This is because Catholics are taught to put others before themselves, but this can sometimes come at the expense of their own energy and resources. Therefore, self-care is about finding a balance between self-sacrifice and self-preservation.
The Catholic Church teaches that self-care is about connecting with God and understanding your needs. It's about accepting yourself and the world around you and being grateful for how God has created you and everything in the world. This sense of gratitude and humility is key to Catholic self-care.
However, Catholics must be careful not to fall into the trap of self-indulgence, which can lead to a disordered love of self and hinder their relationship with God. Self-indulgence can take many forms, from gluttony and overspending to spiritual gluttony, such as self-righteous indulgence in vegetarianism or teetotalism. Instead of seeking momentary distractions from discomfort, Catholics are encouraged to pause and accept what is in front of them and inside of them, connecting with reality and God.
Indulgences, in the Catholic context, refer to the remission of punishment for sins, reducing or eliminating the time spent in Purgatory. There are two types of indulgences: partial and plenary. While indulgences are still part of Catholic doctrine, they are no longer bought with money but earned through acts of prayer, pilgrimages, and other religious actions.
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Loving yourself for God's sake
Understanding God's Love
God's love for us is unconditional. As Catholics, we believe that we are God's beloved adopted sons and daughters, created in His image. We are called to share eternal life with Him, rejoicing and delighting in who we are and who others are. This means loving ourselves and others as God loves us, embracing our unique identities and sexualities.
Loving Ourselves
Loving ourselves for God's sake means seeing ourselves through God's eyes, with humility and mercy. We are to be grateful for how He has created us and everything around us. However, finding the right balance in self-love can be challenging. Excessive self-love can lead to a narcissistic view, pushing God out of the picture, while self-neglect or self-loathing can hinder our ability to love others.
Scripture's Guidance
Scripture provides guidance on how to love ourselves appropriately. St. Paul, in his letter to the Ephesians, emphasizes the importance of nourishing and cherishing one's own flesh, just as Christ does for the church. Similarly, St. Augustine interprets the Lord's commandments to include the love of God, neighbor, and oneself. He asserts that loving oneself is not erring when one loves God.
Overcoming Self
While self-sacrifice and self-denial are important in our relationship with God, we must be cautious not to debase ourselves to the point of self-hatred. We should reject the negative effects of our brokenness, such as weakness and sinfulness, while still embracing the inherent value God has given us as His beloved children. St. Francis of Assisi states that overcoming oneself is one of the greatest graces and gifts that Christ gives to His beloved.
Practical Steps
To love ourselves for God's sake, we can take practical steps such as recognizing our inherent worth as God's children, seeking to understand our created identity, and taking care of our physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. This may include activities like vacations, hobbies, mental health days, exercise, and nutritious food. By loving ourselves in a balanced way, we can more perfectly love God and others.
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The importance of self-sacrifice
The Catholic Church teaches that self-love is important, but it must be balanced with humility and mercy, mirroring how God sees us. This balanced self-love is crucial as it allows us to love others more perfectly and fulfil our purpose in the world. However, an excessive focus on self can hinder our ability to live out the Gospel's core message of putting others before ourselves.
Self-sacrifice, therefore, becomes an important aspect of Catholic spirituality. It is about willingly setting aside our desires for the good of others, reflecting Jesus Christ's model of accepting suffering and mistreatment while still seeing Himself as worthy of God's love. Biblical self-sacrifice involves daily dying to the passions of our flesh that go against God's will. This does not mean we seek to inflict suffering on ourselves, but rather, we embrace the suffering that may come when we reach out in love to others.
While self-sacrifice is commendable, it should not lead to self-hatred or the complete loss of self. We must be cautious not to fall into the trap of believing that any level of self-interest is wrong. Instead, we should strive for a healthy balance, understanding that our individual well-being is essential, and that we cannot pour from an empty cup.
In conclusion, the importance of self-sacrifice in the Catholic faith lies in its ability to bring us closer to God and our neighbours. By sacrificing our rights and desires, we emulate Christ's example and fulfil the Biblical commandment to "love your neighbour as yourself."
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Understanding our created identity
The Catholic Church teaches that we are created in God's image and are His beloved children. This means that we are called to love ourselves and others as God loves us. However, it is important to strike a balance between self-love and humility, with the ultimate focus being on God as the source of love.
According to Catholic teachings, our identity as human beings is found in the unity of our body and soul. We are called to rejoice and delight in who we are, including our unique sexual identity, and to seek the meaning of our body in the truth of our masculinity or femininity. This understanding of our created identity is based on what God has revealed in the Bible and through tradition.
While it is important to seek self-sacrifice and self-denial in our relationship with God, we should be cautious not to debase ourselves to the point of self-hatred. Instead, we should embrace the value and dignity that God has given us as His beloved children. St. Paul recognized this in his letters, stating that we should nourish and cherish our own flesh, even as Christ does for the church.
However, a disordered love of self can hinder our ability to live out our faith and cause dysfunction in our relationships. A narcissistic love of self can push God out of the picture and lead to contempt for Him. Therefore, it is crucial to maintain a balanced love of self, recognizing that our true happiness lies in God alone.
Ultimately, understanding our created identity involves recognizing our inherent worth as God's beloved children and striving to love ourselves and others as God loves us. By doing so, we can live out our calling to share eternal life with Him and bring glory to His name.
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Frequently asked questions
Self-love is not selfish as long as it does not lead to contempt for God. St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas have argued that self-love is a good and necessary thing. God wants us to take care of ourselves physically, mentally, and spiritually.
In the Bible, Jesus says that the greatest commandment in the Law is to "love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind". The second commandment is to "love your neighbour as yourself".
To love ourselves for God's sake means to see ourselves as God sees us, with humility and mercy. We must look at ourselves and be grateful for how God has created us and everything around us.
As Catholics, we are God's beloved children, and we are loved unconditionally. We are called to rejoice and delight in who we are and who others are. We must seek to understand our created identity and embrace our God-given sexual identity.
