Rachel Evans
Talking with transgender people can be challenging for Catholics due to differing beliefs about gender identity. While transgender individuals argue that gender is assigned at birth based on anatomy, Catholics believe that God created humans as either male or female, and that gender cannot be changed. This conflict has resulted in transgender individuals being marginalized and condemned within the Catholic community. However, despite these differences, Catholics are encouraged to treat transgender people with compassion, love, and respect for their human dignity. While it is important to uphold Catholic beliefs, it is also crucial to recognize the inherent value and worth of all individuals, including those with differing ideologies.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Recognise the transgender family member's human dignity | Treat individuals with love and respect |
| Be compassionate | Monitor the situation and speak with children afterwards |
| Avoid judgmental language | Focus on yourself and your Christian values |
| Discuss your concerns | Be open to the goodness of everyone |
| Talk about your beliefs | Do not deny who God has made |
| Do not promote their transgender identity | Help people discover their true identity as children of God |
| Do not support their transgender identity |
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What You'll Learn
How to talk to transgender family members
As a Catholic, it is important to remember that every person is a child of God and worthy of love. While the Church has its views on transgenderism, it is crucial to respect and love your transgender family members. Here are some guidelines on how to talk to transgender family members:
Listen and Learn:
It is important to listen to your transgender family member's experiences and try to understand their perspective. Ask questions without judgement and be open to learning about their journey. Remember, talking about their experiences can be healing for someone experiencing gender dysphoria.
Communicate with Compassion:
When discussing the topic with your transgender family member, choose your words carefully. Avoid language that may come across as condemning or judgmental. Instead, focus on expressing your Christian values of love and compassion. Let them know that you want to continue your relationship and that you care about them.
Prepare for Family Gatherings:
If you are concerned about how your transgender family member's presence will impact your children at family gatherings, it is advisable to have direct, age-appropriate discussions with your children about sexuality and transgender issues beforehand. This way, you can prepare them for interactions with their transgender relatives.
Respect Their Identity:
While you may not agree with their chosen name or pronouns, respect your transgender family member's identity by using their preferred name and pronouns. This can be a difficult issue, especially if it conflicts with your interpretation of Scripture. However, by respecting their identity, you are showing your love and support.
Seek Support:
If you are struggling to navigate this situation, consider seeking support from pastoral counselors or licensed therapists who can provide guidance from a Christian perspective. Remember, your priority should be to maintain a positive relationship with your transgender family member while also upholding your Christian values.
Remember, each person's experience is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Approach these conversations with humility, love, and a genuine desire to understand and support your transgender family members.
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Explaining transgender issues to children
The Catholic Church teaches that God created humans in his image, "male and female he created them" (Gn 1:27). This means that the Church believes that God's plan for humanity involved creating two equal but distinct sexes. The Church's teachings on morality and the nature of the human person are interconnected and build on each other. The Church believes that transgender people have the same fundamental dignity as any other human person and strongly condemns hatred or violence towards them. However, the Church also teaches that any sex-change intervention risks threatening the unique dignity that a person has received from the moment of conception.
When explaining transgender issues to children, it is important to approach the topic with age-appropriate language and concepts. Here are some suggestions for how to have this conversation:
- Use age-appropriate language: Explain the concept of gender identity in a simple and straightforward manner that your child can understand. You can say something like, "Everyone is born as either a boy or a girl, but sometimes people feel like they are really the opposite gender."
- Emphasize compassion and respect: Teach your children to treat others with kindness and respect, regardless of their gender identity. Explain that it is important to respect people's chosen names and pronouns, as this is a way to show compassion and acceptance.
- Read inclusive stories: Choose children's books that feature transgender characters or themes of gender diversity. This can help normalize the topic and provide a starting point for further discussion.
- Answer their questions honestly: Children may have many questions about transgender issues. Answer their questions as honestly and accurately as possible, using age-appropriate language. It's okay to say that you don't know the answer to a question and that you will find out together.
- Seek professional resources: If you are unsure about how to approach this topic with your children, seek guidance from professional resources. Organizations such as the Family Acceptance Project, World Professional Association for Transgender Health, and the American Psychological Association can provide helpful information and support.
- Model inclusive behavior: As a parent, you can model inclusive behavior by using appropriate language and being respectful when discussing transgender issues. Avoid using derogatory terms or making assumptions about people's gender identities.
It is important to remember that every child is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to explaining transgender issues. Tailor your conversation to your child's age, developmental level, and cultural background. By approaching this topic with compassion and openness, you can help your children develop a sense of empathy and understanding towards the transgender community.
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Catholic Church teachings on transgenderism
The Catholic Church teaches that gender is assigned at birth, based on observed anatomy. The Church believes that one is born either male or female, and this cannot be changed through medical or surgical means. This belief is grounded in the Church's interpretation of Scripture: "God created mankind in his image; in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them" (Gn 1:27). The Church also considers modern medical science, which shows that maleness and femaleness are part of our DNA.
The Church's position on transgenderism is that every human person is created in the image and likeness of God, male or female, and that people should be helped to discover their true identities as children of God. The Church does not support the idea of rejecting one's biological identity. It is against any "gender ideology" that separates the concept of psychological gender from biological sex or proposes that one's sex can be changed. The Church also condemns any kind of hatred or violence towards people who identify as transgender.
When it comes to preferred pronouns, some sources advise calling transgender people by their preferred names while avoiding the use of specific pronouns. This approach aims to balance respecting an individual's identity and not affirming a gender identity disorder. However, transgender Catholics have expressed disappointment with the Church's stance, stating that it shows a lack of understanding of their lives and subjects them to potential harm.
While the Church has not extensively addressed transgender issues, it has addressed "gender theory" and "sex change" in the document "Dignitas Infinita," emphasizing the need to respect the natural order of the human person and protect human dignity. The document equates gender-affirming surgeries with grave violations of human dignity, similar to abortion and euthanasia.
When dealing with a transgender family member, Catholic sources advise continuing to show love and maintaining relationships. It is recommended to have open and honest conversations about Christian values and concerns while avoiding judgmental language. Preparing children for interactions with a transgender family member through age-appropriate discussions about sexuality is also suggested.
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How to behave at family gatherings
Family gatherings can be challenging when a member of the family is transgender, especially if you are a Catholic. Here are some tips on how to behave in such situations:
Firstly, it is important to remember that your primary obligation as a Christian is to love God and to love others. While you may not agree with your transgender family member's choices, it is essential to treat them with love and respect for their human dignity. They need to feel safe around you. Show them compassion, and make it clear that you care about them and want to continue your relationship with them. Be open to their goodness, just as the saints were.
However, it is also important to stay true to your beliefs. You can do this without being judgmental or condemning. Have an honest conversation with your family member about your Christian values and concerns as a parent. You might feel that their choices are influencing your children's sexual values, and it is valid to express this worry. Prepare your children for interacting with your transgender relative by having direct, age-appropriate discussions about sexuality at home.
If you are concerned about your grandchildren being exposed to a transgender family member, it is a matter that should be discussed with their parents. You could help explain to your grandchildren that their relative is confused and struggling with their identity, and that they need to be loved and supported. Monitor the situation and speak with your grandchildren about their interactions with the transgender relative.
Remember, there is a time and place for a debate on sexuality, and a family gathering may not be the right time or place. Focus on showing love and compassion to your family member, while also being true to your beliefs.
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Recommended books on transgenderism
Transgender Ideology & Gender Dysphoria: A Catholic Response
This book by Dr. Thibault takes a Thomistic framework to delve into a complex and controversial topic, combining medical science, philosophy, social issues, and theology with Christian teachings. It aims to bring insight into the difficulties faced by transgender people and their compatibility with Christian principles. It also suggests ways for the Catholic Church to understand the science behind transgenderism rather than feeling threatened by it.
Trans Life and the Catholic Church Today
Edited by Nicolete Burbach, this book provides an interdisciplinary, Catholic, and ecumenical perspective on the various questions surrounding trans people in the life of the Church. It includes contributions from both trans and cis scholars, providing a wide range of perspectives on transgender identity and the development of Catholic thinking on transgender issues.
Outlove: A Queer Christian Survival Story
Written by Julie Rodgers, this book tells the story of a queer Christian's journey, navigating between her faith and her queer identity. It resonates strongly with LGBTQ+ Catholics, offering a reminder that their contributions to the Church should be fully welcomed and appreciated, inclusive of their identities.
LGBTQ Catholics: A Guide to Inclusive Ministry
Authored by Yunuen Trujillo, this book addresses the need for ministry and support for LGBTQ+ Catholics and their families. It provides a template that can be replicated in any parish community, emphasizing the need for social doctrine within the Church.
Building a Bridge
Written by Father James Martin, this book offers spiritual and biblical reflections for LGBT+ people and their families, as well as ministers in the Church. It explores how the Catholic Church and the LGBT+ community can build a relationship based on respect, compassion, and sensitivity.
Beyond the Birds and the Bees
This book, written by a Catholic psychologist, provides advice for parents on discussing sexual ethics and the Church's teachings on issues such as homosexuality and transgenderism with their children. It is divided into chapters by age, offering age-appropriate discussion topics and explanations.
Creating Safe Environments for LGBT Students
This guidebook by Yunuen Trujillo focuses on creating inclusive Catholic high school environments for LGBT+ students. It provides strategies, resources, and guidelines for educators to integrate the Church's pastoral, social, and moral dimensions with the specific needs of LGBT+ students, fostering safer schools and professional helping relationships.
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Frequently asked questions
It is understandable to be concerned about the impact on your children. As a parent, you have a responsibility to consider who or what influences them. You can prepare your children for interacting with your transgender family member by having direct, age-appropriate discussions about sexuality at home.
If you are on speaking terms, call them to discuss your concerns. Avoid judgmental or condemning language and focus on yourself. Talk about your Christian values and share your concerns as a parent. Let them know that you want to continue your relationship, but you are worried about how their transition will affect your children.
By attending an event where your transgender relative is present, you are not promoting their transgender identity. If they are attempting to get married or having a "coming out" party, you may consider not attending as your participation could be seen as condoning their actions.
Be compassionate and respectful of their human dignity. Let them know that you love them as a human being. Ask them about their experience, but do so to understand them better, not with an ulterior motive.
