Rachel Evans
Correcting another Catholic can be a delicate matter, but it is an important aspect of friendship and spiritual growth. According to the National Catholic Register, the Bible and the Catechism of the Catholic Church consider friendship, including mutual correction, necessary for salvation. When correcting another Catholic, it is essential to lead with love and kindness, edifying and imparting grace through our words, as instructed by Scripture. While correction can be challenging, it is a necessary remedy, akin to the fires of purgatory that purify and benefit the soul.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Tone | Lead with love, be kind and tenderhearted, do not be angry or let evil speech come from your mouth |
| Friendship | True friendship requires both truthfulness and charity |
| Scripture | Scripture tells us to approach correction and truth in many different ways |
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What You'll Learn
Lead with love
Leading with love is a central tenet of Catholicism. Christ gave one commandment: to love one another as he loved us. This means sacrificing oneself for the good of another, even if it goes against our nature and the ways of the world.
When correcting another Catholic, it is important to lead with love. Scripture tells us to approach correction and truth in many different ways, but leading with love is the necessary driver. We are called to edify with our words and impart grace, to be kind and tender-hearted, and to put away bitterness, malice, slander, wrath, and clamour. We are to forgive as Christ has forgiven us.
Most people love to be affirmed, and we are called to build each other up, not tear each other down. Correction can be a hard pill to swallow, but it is a necessary remedy. True friendship is considered a prize, and a true friend is there even in the most difficult moments. An authentic friendship requires truthfulness and charity.
As Mother Angelica says, “Those who tell you the truth, love you. Those who tell you what you want to hear, love themselves.”
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Avoid anger and evil speech
Anger is a natural reaction to pain, injustice, or humiliation inflicted upon oneself or a loved one. Righteous anger is a form of protection against a wrong or evil and can be healthy when it helps someone identify an offense and lead them to deal with it in a constructive way. However, anger can also be sinful and destructive when it turns into resentment, hostility, revenge, or destructive behavior.
To avoid sinful anger and evil speech, one must recognize that it is normal to feel angry when wronged, but it is important to deal with anger in a constructive way. Repressing or denying anger can be unhealthy and may cripple individuals morally, spiritually, emotionally, socially, or physically. Instead, one must channel their anger into something constructive that leads to positive changes.
Praying for those who have wronged you can be a powerful way to overcome anger and bitterness. It may be challenging to pray for people one dislikes or disagrees with, but it can help change one's perspective and make it harder to hate them. This does not mean that one must like everyone; rather, they must will the good of the other.
In addition to prayer, seeking spiritual guidance from Catholic saints and masters of the spiritual life can help one overcome sinful anger. For example, St. Francis de Sales, who struggled with a fiery temper and intense impatience, is known for his teachings on the benefits of meekness, gentleness, and kindness. Overcoming sinful anger requires tremendous interior strength, so one must ask God for help.
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Edify with words to impart grace
Correcting another Catholic can be a delicate matter, but it is possible to do so in a way that is both truthful and charitable. As St. Thomas Aquinas says, true friendship is considered a prize, and the Bible and the Catechism of the Catholic Church consider friendship, even with God, necessary for eternal salvation.
When correcting another Catholic, it is important to lead with love and to edify with words that impart grace. This means putting away bitterness, malice, slander, wrath, and clamor, and instead being kind and tender-hearted. We are called to build each other up, not tear each other down. It is also important to forgive as Christ has forgiven us and to offer encouragement where possible.
Approaching correction with love does not mean compromising on truth. In fact, as Mother Angelica says, "Those who tell you the truth, love you. Those who tell you what you want to hear, love themselves." Striking a balance between truthfulness and charity can be challenging, but it is an essential aspect of authentic friendship.
When correcting another Catholic, it is also worth remembering that we are all on our own unique spiritual journeys, and that we may need to be corrected ourselves at times. Approaching these conversations with humility and a willingness to learn can help ensure that they are productive and grace-filled.
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Put away bitterness, malice, slander, wrath and clamor
Ephesians 4:31-32 is a call to action for Christians to make a conscious effort to avoid sin and to forgive one another. The verse reads:
> "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."
- Bitterness: A negative attitude that can cause trouble with others.
- Wrath, anger, and clamor: These refer to persistent anger that becomes a habit, as well as noise, commotion, and uproar. Believers are called to avoid being argumentative or obnoxious.
- Slander: Speaking false evils or putting others down inappropriately.
- Malice: Spitefulness, verbal abuse, and malevolence.
Catholics are called to correct one another out of love and to help each other grow in holiness. This correction should be done in a spirit of gentleness, humility, and compassion, as instructed in Ephesians 4:32. It is important to approach the other Catholic in private and to speak to them with kindness and sensitivity, focusing on their actions rather than their character. The goal is to help them see where they may be falling short and to offer support and encouragement in a non-judgmental way.
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Forgive as Christ forgave
For Catholics, forgiveness is a central tenet of their faith. Jesus Christ, the son of God, was sent to take away the sins of the world, and in Colossians 3:13, Apostle Paul writes that we must forgive others as Christ has forgiven us. This means that we must forgive others regardless of the harshness of their sin, just as Christ forgave us for our sins.
Forgiveness can be challenging, especially when someone has caused deep hurt or disappointment. Some people choose to not trust anyone again or are afraid to build new relationships for fear of being let down. However, choosing to forgive, even when the offender doesn't apologise, can bring freedom from pain and help heal the heart.
Catholics are instructed to be kind and tender-hearted towards one another, just as Christ forgave us and gave Himself up as a sacrifice. By imitating Christ, we can find the strength to forgive even the most grievous offences.
Additionally, Catholics believe in the sacrament of reconciliation, also known as penance or confession. This sacrament was instituted by Jesus Himself when He said, "If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained" (John 20:21-23). Through confession, Catholics can find healing and restore their relationship with God and others.
In conclusion, for Catholics, forgiving as Christ forgave is about extending the same mercy and grace that Christ has shown us to those who have wronged us. By doing so, we can live an ever-forgiving life and experience the joy and freedom that comes from following in Christ's footsteps.
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Frequently asked questions
It is important to lead with love and kindness when correcting another Catholic. We are called to build each other up and not tear each other down.
Scripture tells us to approach correction and truth in many different ways, but leading with love is absolutely the necessary driver. We are not to be angry or let evil speech come from our mouths.
As St. Thomas Aquinas says, true friendship is considered to be a prize. A true friend is there, even in the most difficult moments. An authentic friendship requires both truthfulness and charity.
