Sarah Mitchell
The Catholic Church teaches that self-love is a delicate balance between egoism and self-hatred. Excessive love of self, or narcissism, can lead to the inversion of Christ's Gospel message, while debasing oneself can result in self-hatred. The key to loving oneself lies in understanding one's identity as a child of God and embracing the value He has bestowed upon us. Catholics are encouraged to strive to be like Jesus, recognizing their inherent worth and extending that love to others. This involves both acceptance and rejection, as C.S. Lewis points out, and a conscious effort to want the highest good for those around us. Ultimately, loving oneself as a Catholic means finding a balance between loving God and loving oneself, as stated by St. Francis of Assisi: Above all the grace and the gifts that Christ gives to his beloved is that of overcoming self.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Balance in self-love | Avoid narcissism and egoism |
| Gratitude for God's creation | Recognise God's power |
| Understanding your identity as a child of God | Embrace the value God has given you |
| Striving to be like Jesus | Loving Jesus and the Church |
| Knowing yourself | Understanding your place in the world |
| Acceptance and rejection | Wanting the best for others |
| Compassion | Protecting innocence |
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What You'll Learn
Love yourself as God loves you
The Catholic Church teaches that self-love is important, but it must be balanced with love for God and others. According to the Bible, "You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbour as yourself." (Matthew 22:38-39)
Loving yourself as God loves you means recognizing your inherent worth as a child of God. It involves accepting and embracing your unique identity as a beloved daughter or son of God, created in His image and loved by Him. This means respecting and loving your body and soul as they are, understanding that your value comes from being God's creation, not from your own achievements or the approval of others.
However, it is important to avoid an excessive or narcissistic love of self, which can lead to putting yourself before others and inhibiting your ability to show true Christian love. Instead, strive for balance by following Christ's example of self-sacrifice and humility, picking up your cross daily as He did, and remembering that your identity is rooted in God's love, not your own ego.
Practically, loving yourself as God loves you can involve activities such as getting to know yourself and your inherent worth, spending time in nature to appreciate God's creation, volunteering to help others, and challenging yourself to achieve new goals. By doing these things, you can grow in self-love and, in turn, love others more deeply.
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Avoid narcissism
In Catholicism, the concept of self-love or egoism is associated with the idea of "narcissism", which is considered a hindrance to living out the Christian faith authentically. St. Thomas's statement, "Self-love or egoism is manifestly the source of all sins," underscores the belief that excessive focus on oneself can lead to an inversion of Christ's Gospel message. This type of egoist self-love prioritises personal desires over others, contradicting the biblical injunction to "love one another as you love yourself."
To avoid narcissism, it is essential to strike a balance in self-love. While loving oneself is important, it should not come at the expense of forgetting God. St. Francis of Assisi emphasises the importance of "overcoming self" in the spiritual life. This entails recognising that our value comes from God, our Creator, and that we are dependent on Him. While self-sacrifice and self-denial are integral aspects of the Catholic faith, it is also crucial to avoid debasing oneself to the point of self-hatred. Instead, we should embrace the inherent value God has bestowed upon us while acknowledging our weaknesses and failures.
Respect and love are crucial in counteracting narcissistic tendencies. Respect requires introspection, understanding where we have been, our current state, and the direction in which we are headed. It fosters humility by reminding us that we are part of a larger world and not the centre of it. This perspective helps cultivate a humble heart, which is the antithesis of narcissism.
Vulnerability is another powerful tool in combating narcissism. Spiritual narcissists often view vulnerability as a sign of weakness and a loss of control. However, the Cross of Christ demonstrates the power of vulnerability born out of love. By opening ourselves up to God and others, we create space for authentic love and connection, moving away from the self-absorption associated with narcissism.
Additionally, it is important to recognise the dangers of idol worship, which can fuel spiritual narcissism. Idols arise from human desires and distract us from genuine relationships of true love. They provide a false sense of control and keep us from confronting the truth about ourselves and our need for God. By acknowledging these idols and turning back to God, we can break free from the grasp of spiritual narcissism.
Finally, humility is a potent weapon against the devil and the foundation of all virtues. When we surrender our desires and allow God to work in us, we not only thwart the devil's plans but also cultivate genuine virtue in our lives. Saints such as Saint Vincent de Paul, Saint Augustine, Saint Teresa of Avila, and Thomas à Kempis offer wisdom on the importance of humility in counteracting self-absorption.
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Know yourself
Knowing yourself is a crucial aspect of loving yourself as a Catholic. It involves understanding your unique identity, strengths, weaknesses, and purpose in the context of your relationship with God. Here are some insights to help you on your journey of self-knowledge:
Understanding Your Identity in Christ: In the Catholic faith, self-understanding begins with recognizing your identity as a beloved child of God. You are made in the image and likeness of God, imbued with inherent dignity and worth. Embracing this identity is a fundamental step in loving yourself. As Danielle Bean, author of "You're Worth It!", suggests, discovering the truth of God's love for you can transform how you feel about yourself. Recognizing that God knows you intimately and loves you unconditionally is a powerful foundation for self-acceptance and self-love.
Acknowledging Your Strengths and Weaknesses: Part of knowing yourself is recognizing both your strengths and weaknesses. We are all created with unique talents and abilities, and acknowledging these gifts is essential for understanding your purpose and contribution to the world. At the same time, acknowledging your weaknesses and brokenness is also crucial. St. Paul's words in Romans 7:15 illustrate this dichotomy: "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate, I do." Embracing your weaknesses helps you cultivate humility and dependence on God's grace.
Contextual Understanding and Self-Compassion: Understanding the context that has shaped you is an important aspect of self-knowledge. Recognizing the unique circumstances, experiences, and influences that have brought you to where you are today fosters self-compassion and acceptance. This understanding allows you to extend grace to yourself, just as God extends grace to us. It also enables you to separate your identity from your failures or shortcomings, seeing them as opportunities for growth and redemption.
Balancing Self-Love and Love of God: In the Catholic tradition, there is a delicate balance between loving yourself and loving God. Excessive self-love, or narcissism, can lead to the inversion of Christ's Gospel message, as St. Thomas warns. However, healthy self-love is not about putting yourself first but rather recognizing your inherent worth as a creation of God. It involves seeing yourself as God sees you, with true humility and mercy, and being grateful for the amazing way He has created you and the world around you.
Self-Reflection and Prayer: Taking time for introspection and prayer is vital for knowing yourself. Through prayer and meditation, you can cultivate a deeper awareness of your thoughts, feelings, and motivations. Speaking to God in your heart, as suggested by Jesus, allows you to develop a more intimate relationship with Him and gain insight into His will for your life. This practice helps align your desires with His plan, fostering a sense of purpose and meaning.
In conclusion, knowing yourself as a Catholic entails a journey of self-discovery rooted in your relationship with God. It involves recognizing your identity as a beloved child of God, understanding your strengths and weaknesses, and extending compassion to yourself. By seeking balance in self-love and love of God, you can embrace the unique person He has created you to be and fulfill the purpose He has designed for your life.
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Do things that impress yourself
While the Bible instructs Christians to love their neighbours as themselves, loving oneself can be a challenging task. The following are some ideas for doing things that impress yourself, which can help you to love yourself better:
Set small, achievable goals
Making small changes that become embedded in your life can help you impress yourself. For example, you could start by putting away books that have been sitting on the stairs for days, washing the dishes, or calling a friend. Once you've achieved one small goal, you can build momentum by setting another one.
Reflect on your motives
Ask yourself whether you are trying to impress others or God. It's important to be aware of your true motives and approach each task with a fresh attitude. Examine your conscience and reflect on the ways in which God has provided for you. Be thankful for His blessings and ask yourself how you can do better tomorrow.
Bring God into your daily life
Make God a part of your whole day, not just your prayer time. Talk about Him with your friends, family, and co-workers, just as you would discuss things you love. Incorporate daily sacrifices into your life and offer them up to the Lord, such as eating bread without butter or driving in silence.
Strive for balance
While it's important to seek self-sacrifice and self-denial in your relationship with God and others, don't debase yourself to the point of self-hatred. Recognise your value as a creation of God and embrace the love He has for you. At the same time, be cautious of excessive self-love or egoism, which can lead to narcissism and inhibit your ability to show true love to others.
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Love your body
According to Catholic teachings, loving yourself is about striking a balance. Excessive self-love can be considered narcissistic and can cause an inversion of Christ's Gospel message. However, debasing oneself to the point of self-hatred should also be avoided.
Loving your body involves seeing yourself as God does. God created your body for more, and it is good, beautiful, and worthy of love and respect. It is through your body that you are able to communicate and connect with the world around you.
Practicing embodied spirituality and listening to your body is an important aspect of loving your body. This can be achieved through breath, movement, and reflective writing. Taking slow, conscious breaths deepens the connection between your mind and body, inviting you to be present and feel the Spirit moving within you. Moving your body with attentiveness, such as rolling your shoulders and neck slowly or walking up a staircase, helps you acknowledge your physical strength and the wisdom your body holds.
Additionally, fasting, lack of sleep, abstinence, and silent retreats are forms of bodily worship and love for God. These practices are not just about spiritual discipline but also about your body loving and worshipping God in its own unique way.
Loving your body involves embracing it as a gift from God and recognizing its intrinsic goodness. It is a sacred vessel that allows you to interact with and experience the world. By nurturing and respecting your body, you honor God's creation and the unique role your body plays in your spiritual journey.
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Frequently asked questions
Catholics can learn to love themselves by remembering that they are children of God and that God loves them. They can also try to be like Jesus, which may help them to love themselves more by extension. Additionally, Catholics can do things that impress themselves, such as climbing a mountain or learning a new skill.
The Bible states that there are two basic loves: "the love of God unto the forgetfulness of self, or the love of self unto the forgetness of God." It is important to find a balance between these two loves, as excessive self-love can lead to narcissism and inhibit Christians from showing love to others.
Catholics can show love to themselves and others by embracing the value given to them by God and recognizing their identity as beloved children of God. They can also offer grace and compassion to others, just as God does for them.
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