Rachel Evans
The Catholic Church has a set of rules and guidelines for married couples, especially regarding sex and sexual pleasure. While the Church does not have a list of acceptable practices, it emphasizes that sexual love within marriage should be chaste and pure, even for couples beyond childbearing years. The Church's teachings on marital sexuality are rooted in the belief that it is essentially procreative and an expression of marital love, joined with an openness to new life. The Church prohibits oral sex, even for married couples, as it defines oral sex as orally stimulating the male partner to orgasm. Additionally, the Church encourages natural sexual relations, with the missionary position historically being the only encouraged position, as it increases the chances of pregnancy.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Purpose | Sexual pleasure is not sought outside of the value, dignity, and integrity of the person |
| Contraception | Prohibited acts with contraceptive effects include sterilization, condoms, and other barrier methods, spermicides, coitus interruptus (withdrawal method), the Pill, and all other such methods |
| Chastity | Chastity is defined as the successful integration of sexuality within the person |
| Self-giving | Sex should always be self-giving, not selfish |
| Objectification | The other person should never be seen or treated as an object |
| Unconditional love | Sex is an expression of the marital covenant of unconditional love |
| Spiritual union | Sex should deepen the spiritual union between partners |
| God's blessing | Sex should be experienced as being blessed and willed by God |
| Focus | Sex should be focused on the person, not only on physical pleasure |
| Natural sexual act | Sex should culminate in the natural sexual act rather than unnatural sexual activity |
| Passions | Love should control the passions, rather than passions controlling the love |
| Oral sex | Oral sex is morally licit if it is part of a total act that is ordered to and is completed in intercourse |
| Foreplay | Couples should avoid sexual satiation that reduces intercourse to merely a final release |
| Pornography | The use of pornography introduces others into an act that is intended to be intimate, private, and between the spouses |
| Orgasm | Bringing a wife to orgasm if she did not experience it during intercourse can be considered a loving act |
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What You'll Learn
Contraception and birth control are prohibited
The Catholic Church hierarchy forbids all forms of artificial contraception, including condoms, birth control pills, IUDs (intrauterine devices), tubal ligation, vasectomies, and emergency contraception like Plan B. The Church considers the use of these methods to be sinful as they separate sexual intercourse from its intended consequence of reproduction.
The only acceptable form of family planning endorsed by the Catholic Church is "natural family planning" or the “rhythm method," which involves abstaining from sex during the woman's period of ovulation. However, this method is unreliable and can place a strain on marital relations.
The Church's opposition to contraception stems from its interpretation of Scripture and natural law. According to the Church, sexual intercourse has a two-fold unitive and procreative purpose. Sexual pleasure is considered morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.
Despite the Catholic Church's ban on contraception, the majority of Catholics have used some form of birth control in their lives. This discrepancy highlights the tension between the Church's teachings and the choices of its followers in modern times.
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Sex is considered chaste only within marriage
The Catholic Church has a set of guidelines for marital sexual ethics, which are rooted in the belief that sexual intercourse has a twofold unitive and procreative purpose. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, "conjugal love...aims at a deeply personal unity, a unity that, beyond union in one flesh, leads to forming one heart and soul". This unity is believed to be a reflection of the love between God and humanity.
The Church considers the expression of love between husband and wife to be an elevated form of human activity, uniting them in complete, mutual self-giving. Pope Paul VI wrote in Humanae Vitae that "the sexual activity, in which husband and wife are intimately and chastely united with one another, through which human life is transmitted, is... 'noble and worthy.'". The Church's detailed doctrines are derived from the principle that
The Church has consistently opposed contraception, with Pope Paul VI confirming this stance in 1963–66. Prohibited acts with contraceptive effects include sterilization, condoms, spermicides, withdrawal, and the Pill, among others. The Church teaches that each sexual act in a marriage must be open to the possibility of conceiving a child, as conception from sexual union is believed to be integral to the act.
Despite these guidelines, the Church does not provide a list of "acceptable practices". Chaste and pure sexual love in marriage is characterised by self-giving, not selfishness, and the deepening of the spiritual union between spouses. It is focused on the person and the expression of love, rather than solely on physical pleasure.
While the Church's teachings provide a framework, there are differing opinions among Catholic theologians and laity on the severity of various sexual sins. The Church acknowledges that sexual pleasure is a gift within marriage, and that it is not immoral for a wife to experience orgasm, even if it does not directly serve a procreative purpose. Oral sex is generally accepted as morally licit as long as it is part of a total act that is ordered to and completed in intercourse.
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Marital sex should be self-giving, not selfish
The Catholic Church considers the expression of love between a husband and wife to be an elevated form of human activity, joining them in complete, mutual self-giving, and opening their relationship to new life. This means that marital sex should be self-giving and not selfish.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church states that the couple should live in accord with the moral and natural teachings of the Church regarding openness to life. The Church teaches that sexual intercourse has a twofold unitive and procreative purpose. According to the Catechism, "conjugal love... aims at a deeply personal unity, a unity that, beyond union in one flesh, leads to forming one heart and soul". The marriage bond is to be a sign of the love between God and humanity.
The Church's detailed doctrines derive from the principle that "sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive [between spouses] purposes". Sex is considered chaste only within the context of marriage and is referred to as the "nuptial act" in Catholic discourse.
In order for marital sexual love to be holy and pure, it must be lived and expressed in a holy and self-giving way by which the couple intends to renew their marital covenant, which makes them one. This means that the couple must always treat each other as people and not objects, and that their love should control their passions, rather than the passions controlling their love.
The Catholic philosopher Alex Pruss argues that masturbation is a kind of self-deception, where one makes oneself feel what is not actually there—namely, the interpersonal reality of a real one-flesh union. Seeking pleasure in the absence of that which makes it truly worth having makes the pleasure fraudulent.
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The Church does not have a list of acceptable practices
The Catholic Church does not provide a list of "acceptable practices" for sexual intercourse between a husband and wife. However, the Church has outlined several principles to guide married couples in their prayerful discernment and sexual relations. These principles emphasise the importance of chastity, purity, and unconditional love in a couple's sexual expression.
Chastity, as defined by the Church, is "the successful integration of sexuality within the person." It is a virtue that moderates the sexual appetite and is considered an essential aspect of marital sexuality. This means that sexual pleasure should not be sought in isolation from the value, dignity, and integrity of the person. In other words, sexual intimacy should be an expression of the couple's mutual self-giving and unconditional love for each other, reflecting the unconditional love of God.
The Church teaches that sexual intercourse between a husband and wife is "noble and honorable," and spouses should experience both physical and spiritual pleasure and enjoyment. This positive view of sexuality within marriage is rooted in the teachings of Jesus and the wisdom of the Old Testament. The Book of Genesis and the Song of Songs describe the basic goodness of sexual love within the marital covenant.
While the Church does not restrict sexual positions, it has traditionally encouraged the missionary position as it was believed to increase the chances of pregnancy during evangelization in the 18th and 19th centuries. The Church also makes a distinction between oral "sex" and oral stimulation, with the latter being permissible as part of foreplay or to bring a wife to orgasm after intercourse, as long as it does not become an end in itself.
The Church's teachings on contraception and birth control are separate from its guidance on sexual practices. Contraception is considered wrong because it separates the act of conception from the sexual union. The Church defines contraception as "every action that proposes, as an end or as a means, to render procreation impossible." This includes sterilization, condoms, spermicides, withdrawal methods, and the Pill, among others. However, natural family planning practices that restrict sexual activity to times when conception is unlikely are not deemed sinful.
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Marital sex is considered noble and honorable
The Catholic Church has always taken a positive view of sexuality in marriage. Marital intercourse is considered "noble and honorable," with the Catechism of the Catholic Church stating that spouses "should experience pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit." This understanding is rooted in the teachings of Jesus, as well as the wisdom of the Old Testament. The Book of Genesis and the Song of Songs describe the basic goodness of sexual love within marriage.
The Church considers the expression of love between husband and wife to be an elevated form of human activity, uniting them in complete, mutual self-giving and opening their relationship to new life. Pope Paul VI wrote in Humanae vitae that "the sexual activity, in which husband and wife are intimately and chastely united with one another, through which human life is transmitted, is, as the recent Council recalled, 'noble and worthy.'". The Church's detailed doctrines are derived from the principle that
The Catechism of the Catholic Church defines chastity as "the successful integration of sexuality within the person." Married couples are called to practice conjugal chastity, which Pope John Paul II described as a positive view of sexuality, stating that "each human being is willed for his or her own sake." God created marriage as the first communion of persons, where men and women totally give themselves to each other and discover their true selves in this self-giving.
Chaste and pure sexual love in marriage is always self-giving and never selfish. It is an expression of the marital covenant of unconditional love, deepening the spiritual union between husband and wife. It is focused on the person rather than just physical pleasure, and it is experienced as being blessed and willed by God.
While the Church does not provide a list of "acceptable practices," it emphasizes that marital sexual love must be lived and expressed in a holy and self-giving manner, renewing the marital covenant that unites the couple.
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Frequently asked questions
The Catholic Church teaches that sexual relations within marriage are "noble and honourable" and that spouses should experience "pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit". However, the Church also emphasises that sexual love within marriage must be chaste and pure, even for couples who are beyond childbearing years.
Chaste and pure sexual love in marriage is self-giving, unconditional, and focused on deepening the spiritual union between spouses. It is an expression of the marital covenant, blessed and willed by God, and always respectful of God's design.
The Catholic Church prohibits oral sex, defined as orally stimulating the male partner to orgasm, even within marriage. The Church also traditionally only encouraged the missionary position as it was believed to increase the chances of pregnancy during evangelisation.
While the Catholic Church does not want married couples to have sex solely for pleasure, it does acknowledge that sexual pleasure in marriage is good and a part of intercourse. The Church emphasises the difference between "having sex" and "making love", with the latter involving self-giving and offering oneself as a gift to the spouse.
The Catholic Church teaches that sex positions that cannot bear children are not inherently sinful. However, birth control methods that demonstrate a lack of "openness to life" may be considered immoral.
