Ethan Walker
Catholic marriage vows are based on a declaration of consent, which is considered the indispensable element that makes the marriage. The exchange of vows is arguably the most important part of a Catholic wedding mass, as these proclamations unite couples in holy matrimony. The vows are typically traditional and not personalised, and are exchanged after the Questions Before Consent and before the Blessing and Giving of Rings.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Exchange of vows | An important part of the wedding program, uniting couples in holy matrimony |
| Declaration of consent | The indispensable element that makes the marriage |
| Questions before consent | "Are you prepared to love and honour each other for as long as you both shall live?" "Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?" |
| Exchange of rings | "Receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." |
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What You'll Learn
The exchange of vows
> Are you prepared, as you follow the path of marriage, to love and honour each other for as long as you both shall live? Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?
The next part of the exchange of vows is the actual recital of the vows themselves, followed by the exchange of rings. The vows are traditionally worded as follows:
> I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wife/husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life.
The couple may then exchange rings, saying:
> [Name], receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
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The declaration of consent
Following the questioning, the couple proceeds to exchange their vows, which are traditionally worded and approved by the Vatican. During this exchange, the bride and groom publicly declare their commitment to each other, promising to remain true and faithful through life's joys and trials. The vows often include phrases such as:
> "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wife/husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life."
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The questions before consent
The first question is: "Are you prepared, as you follow the path of marriage, to love and honour each other for as long as you both shall live?" This question is a reminder that marriage is a lifelong commitment and that love and honour should be at the heart of the union.
The second question is: "Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?" This question emphasises the couple's willingness to embrace parenthood and raise their children in the Catholic faith.
The third question can vary but is often related to the couple's commitment to supporting each other's spiritual growth and their promise to remain faithful. For example, the priest might ask: "Are you prepared to encourage each other in the practice of your faith and to remain faithful to each other for as long as you both shall live?"
These questions are designed to help the couple reflect on the seriousness and sacredness of the vows they are about to make. They are a time for the couple to affirm their love, honour, and commitment to each other and their willingness to embrace the responsibilities of marriage, including the potential of welcoming children.
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The blessing and exchange of rings
During the blessing, the officiant will pray for God's blessing on the union and the rings, which are symbolic of the couple's commitment to each other. The rings are typically blessed with holy water and then wiped with a linen cloth.
For the exchange of rings, the couple may use the following popular phrasing:
" [Name], receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."
This phrase expresses the couple's promise of lifelong fidelity and love, made in the presence of God and witnessed by their community. The exchange of rings is a tangible symbol of the intangible bond formed between the couple through their marriage vows.
The specific words used in the blessing and exchange of rings may vary, but the underlying meaning remains the same: a commitment to love, honour, and cherish each other for life, as established in the preceding declaration of consent.
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The two versions of Catholic wedding vows
The Catholic Church regards the exchange of consent as the indispensable element that makes a marriage. Without this exchange of vows, the marriage cannot take place. There are two versions of Catholic wedding vows approved by the Vatican for couples to exchange during the wedding ceremony.
The Questions Before Consent
Before the exchange of vows, the officiating priest will ask three questions of the couple. The couple should respond to each of these questions with "I have" or "I am". These questions are not strictly required in every ceremony but may be recommended by the officiant. The questions are:
- Are you prepared, as you follow the path of marriage, to love and honour each other for as long as you both shall live?
- Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?
- Do you promise to be true to each other in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, and to love and honour each other all the days of your life?
The Exchange of Vows
The exchange of vows or consent is called "Consent" and is at the heart of the Catholic wedding ceremony. The couple may choose to use the following template of traditional wedding vows:
> I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wife/husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life.
The next portion of the vows can be tailored by the couple in any way they prefer. One popular phrasing exchanged by the couple as they present each other with rings is:
> [Name], receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
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Frequently asked questions
Catholic marriage vows are based on a declaration of consent, or Catechism #1625-1631. The exchange of consent is considered the indispensable element that "makes the marriage".
The exchange of vows is preceded by three questions posed by the officiating priest to the couple. The answer to each of these three questions should be "I have" or "I am". The questions are: "Are you prepared, as you follow the path of marriage, to love and honour each other for as long as you both shall live?"; "Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?"; and "Do you declare your consent to be married according to the rite of the Church?" Following this, the couple recites their vows.
The vows are traditional and cannot be personalised. The bride and groom say: "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wife/husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life."
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