Grace Thompson
Shame is an intensely painful feeling that we are unworthy of love and belonging. It is a common emotion among Catholics, who often refer to it as Catholic guilt. While shame can be detrimental, causing people to blame, judge, accuse, and condemn, it can also be a force for good, directing us towards God. The Catholic Church teaches that God does not shame or condemn us, but rather offers forgiveness and mercy. However, some Catholics feel shame due to their beliefs and values, which may differ from those of the secular world. This has led to a sense of exclusion and under-representation in certain elite institutions and government positions. Ultimately, the Catholic perspective on shame is complex, recognising both its potential for harm and its capacity for leading us towards God and redemption.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Nature of shame | An intensely painful feeling that we are unworthy of love and belonging. |
| How shame defines us | Shame defines who we are. Guilt defines our actions. |
| Shame as a result of our choices | The choices we make or the choices made by others that affect us can cause us to feel shame. |
| Shame as a result of our fallen nature | We are uncomfortable around people who are better than us and fear blaming, judging, accusing, and condemning. |
| Shame as a motivator of conduct | Cultures built around shame as a motivator often regard suicide as a reasonable or necessary choice. |
| Shame and God | God does not want us to feel shame. |
| Shame and the Devil | The Devil uses shame and condemnation as powerful weapons. |
| Shame and the Catholic Church | Catholics can feel shame for being part of a minority and for professing what seems to be unbelievable. |
| Shame and sin | Shame can be good if it directs us to God. |
| Overcoming shame | We can overcome shame by exposing it to the light of Christ and receiving God's grace and mercy. |
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What You'll Learn
Shame can be good if it directs us to God
Shame is a powerful emotion that can have both positive and negative effects on individuals. In the Catholic tradition, the concept of shame is often associated with the idea of "Catholic guilt," which refers to the feeling of shame caused by a Catholic upbringing. While shame can sometimes be treated as an emotion to be avoided, it is important to recognize that it can also play a constructive role in our lives.
According to St. Thomas Aquinas, shame can be defined as a subcategory of fear, specifically the fear of disgrace for one's actions. This definition highlights an important distinction between shame and guilt. Guilt is related to the acknowledgment of a specific action or behavior, while shame goes deeper and reflects a person's sense of self. In other words, guilt says, "I did something bad," while shame says, "I am bad."
From a Catholic perspective, shame can be seen as a motivator for change and a guide toward God. The New Testament concept of metanoia, or "changing one's view," illustrates how shame can help turn our gaze away from finite goods and toward the enduring and fulfilling Good that is God. This aligns with the idea that Jesus came as a savior rather than an accuser, advocating for sinners rather than shaming them.
Additionally, shame can serve as a reminder of our shared humanity and vulnerability. By recognizing our own imperfections and shortcomings, we can develop empathy and compassion for others. This sense of common humanity can foster humility and a deeper connection to our faith.
However, it is important to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy shame. Unhealthy shame can lead to self-loathing, isolation, and a denial of God's goodness and mercy. It can cause individuals to hide their true selves and their actions, creating a barrier between themselves and God. This type of shame is often associated with the fall of Adam and Eve and their subsequent expulsion from the Garden of Eden.
On the other hand, healthy shame, or "good shame," can be transformative. It can prompt individuals to seek God's mercy and forgiveness, leading to healing and a renewed sense of honor and self-esteem. By exposing our shame to the light of Christ, we allow Him to heal us and guide us toward a life of grace.
In conclusion, while shame can have negative consequences, it can also be a force for good in the Catholic faith. By directing us toward God and reminding us of our shared humanity, shame can lead to repentance, forgiveness, and a deeper connection to our faith. Through prayer, confession, and a willingness to invite God into our hearts, we can transform shame into a catalyst for positive change and spiritual growth.
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Shame is not from God
Shame is like a cancer on our soul, a cancer we cannot always heal through psychotherapy or self-help attitudes and behaviours. The reason for this is that the cancer virus of shame began with Adam's disobedience to God. And because only God can forgive disobedience to God, we must return to God for healing. While psychotherapy can help greatly to deal with shame, at its root, shame is a spiritual problem. Thus, we need to return to the Divine Physician. Take the chemotherapy of prayer to help kill the cancer of shame. Prayer works slowly and gradually to heal us.
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Shame can be healthy
Shame is often viewed negatively, with many people trying to avoid it at all costs. This is particularly true for those with a Catholic upbringing, who may be familiar with the concept of "Catholic guilt". However, it is important to recognize that shame, like any other emotion, can be healthy and direct us towards good.
Healthy shame, as defined by St. Thomas Aquinas, is a subcategory of fear, specifically the disgrace for having done something wrong. It is important to distinguish between shame and guilt, as guilt involves an awareness of causing injury to another, while shame arises from the consciousness of one's own dishonorable or improper actions. While guilt is often viewed as less damaging than shame, as it focuses on forgiving one's ethical lapses and changing one's behavior, shame can also play a constructive role in our lives.
Healthy shame can serve as a motivator for positive change and help us to reorder our negative thoughts and behaviors. It can remind us of our inherent worth as beloved children of God and guide us back towards forgiveness, grace, and salvation through Jesus. This type of shame is not about dwelling in self-hatred or loathing, but rather recognizing when we have strayed from our values and making amends.
For example, feeling shame after gossiping or indulging in excessive behavior can prompt us to confess and turn towards God. It can help us to change our view and turn away from distracting idols, focusing instead on the enduring and fulfilling goodness of God. This type of shame is not about perpetually feeling bad, but about using that emotion as a catalyst for growth and realignment with our values.
While it is important to acknowledge the potential benefits of healthy shame, it is also crucial to recognize that shame can sometimes be unhealthy and detrimental. Unhealthy shame can lead to self-loathing, social isolation, and even suicide. Therefore, it is essential to cultivate a balanced and constructive relationship with shame, seeking professional help if necessary.
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Shame can be turned into grace
Shame is an intensely painful feeling that we are unworthy of love and belonging. It is the feeling that our very self is wrong. Shame can cause great suffering, and it often arises from a person's lack of social status or from abuse. It can lead to self-pity, self-loathing, and despair.
However, shame can be turned into grace. Grace is a gift from God, and only God can turn shame into grace. But we can make ourselves ready to receive God's grace. We can do this by exposing our shame to the light of Christ so that he may heal us. We can also learn to distinguish between good shame and false shame. Good shame arises from a sense of wrongdoing, such as cheating on a spouse, and can direct us towards God. False shame, on the other hand, surfaces when we feel disgust for ourselves and dwell in self-hatred.
To overcome shame, we must also identify our triggers and practice self-compassion. While psychotherapy can help in dealing with shame, it is ultimately a spiritual problem that requires turning to God for healing. Prayer works slowly and gradually to heal us.
Catholics may experience shame due to their beliefs and values, which often differ from those of the secular world. However, they should not feel ashamed of their faith but instead be grateful that they have been given the truth to share with others. Shame can be turned into grace through God's forgiveness and mercy, which are always complete, even if they do not always feel complete in us.
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Shame is not the same as guilt
Shame and guilt are two distinct emotions, though they are often felt together. Shame is a subcategory of fear, specifically the fear of disgrace. It arises from the consciousness of doing something dishonourable, improper, or ridiculous. For example, one might feel shame for cheating on their spouse. Guilt, on the other hand, is remorse for having committed a wrong or causing injury to another. One might feel guilty for hurting someone and also feel ashamed of themselves for doing so.
Shame is often viewed as a negative emotion, but it can be healthy and direct us towards God. In the New Testament, repentance is referred to as "metanoia", or "changing one's view". Shame can help us turn away from finite goods and towards the enduring, fulfilling Good that is God. However, we are not meant to perpetually feel shame, as evidenced by the absence of shame in the story of Adam and Eve.
While shame can indicate wrongdoing, it is not always a fair indicator of the seriousness of a sin. For example, sins of the flesh often evoke more shame than more serious sins. Both guilt and shame are emotions rooted in our perceptions and expectations and that of others.
Guilt can be constructive or destructive. Constructive guilt focuses on forgiving ethical lapses and changing behaviour, while destructive guilt remains mired in self-loathing and does not emphasise learning from wrongdoings. Research on the link between Catholicism and guilt is inconclusive, with some studies finding higher levels of guilt among Catholics, and others finding no evidence of a difference.
In conclusion, while shame and guilt are distinct emotions, they are often felt together and can be powerful motivators of conduct. Shame is not inherently evil, but it can be unhealthy and lead to negative behaviours such as hiding, covering, and blaming. It is important to process and walk through shame, identifying triggers and practising self-care.
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Frequently asked questions
Shame is an intensely painful feeling that we are unworthy of love and belonging. Shame is when we let our actions define who we are.
Shame is neither inherently good nor evil. While shame can cause great suffering, it can also direct us to the good. Shame can help us turn our gaze away from distracting idols and towards God.
Catholics can turn to God and allow Him to heal their shame. They can also identify their shame triggers and practice self-compassion.
Catholic guilt refers to a feeling of shame caused by a Catholic upbringing. It is often treated as an emotion to be avoided, but it can be healthy to cultivate a sense of shame that aligns with Catholic values.
Catholics may feel shame for their beliefs because they claim to know the truth, which does not sit well in a world where relativism is the dominant philosophy. However, Catholics should not feel shame for their beliefs but instead be grateful that they have been given the truth to share with others.
