Sarah Mitchell
The Catholic Church considers premarital sex to be a mortal sin, and some adherents believe that passionate kissing or making out between unmarried people is a mortal sin as well. According to this view, such intimate behaviour is considered a near occasion of sin that can lead to lustful thoughts and desires, which are seen as sinful in themselves. However, others argue that kissing is not inherently sinful as long as it is done without lustful intent, and that it is natural to experience arousal without it being considered a sin. While the Church provides guidelines on sexual morality, it does not offer specific rules on kissing, leaving it up to individuals to discern whether their actions are lustful and, therefore, sinful.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Kissing before marriage | Mortal sin |
| Kissing after marriage | Not a mortal sin |
| Purposefully fantasizing about sex with someone who isn't your spouse | A sin |
| Arousal | Not a sin |
| Consenting to lustful pleasure | Sinful |
| Deliberate stimulation of sexual appetites outside of marriage | Mortal sin |
| Homosexual acts | Mortal sin |
| Pre-marital sex | Mortal sin |
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What You'll Learn
- Kissing before marriage is considered a mortal sin by some Catholics
- Making out is a mortal sin if it leads to lustful pleasure
- Deliberate stimulation of sexual appetites outside of marriage is a mortal sin
- Catholics should avoid pre-marital acts, masturbation, and pornography
- Jesus warns against looking lustfully at another person
Kissing before marriage is considered a mortal sin by some Catholics
Some Catholics believe that kissing before marriage is a mortal sin. This belief is based on the idea that kissing can lead to “unruly passions” and sexual sins. By refraining from kissing before marriage, Catholics can avoid the “slippery slope” of fornication and maintain a pure relationship that is focused on genuine affection and service to one another.
According to Pope Alexander VII, it is a mortal sin to take delight in carnal pleasure, including kisses and touches, before marriage. Passionate kissing is considered a mortal sin because it stirs up passions that are reserved for marriage. Some Catholics choose to refrain from all lip-to-lip kissing before marriage, while others set boundaries such as limiting the number of consecutive kisses or avoiding tongue contact.
However, there is no official Church rule prohibiting kissing before marriage. Thomas Aquinas, a Doctor of the Church, concluded that kisses and caresses are not sinful in themselves if they are done without lustful pleasure. He argued that consenting to lustful pleasure is sinful, but the act of kissing is not inherently sinful.
Catholics who support kissing before marriage argue that it is a way to express affection and determine if there is "chemistry" in the relationship. They emphasize that it is important to avoid fornication but that kissing does not necessarily lead to it.
Ultimately, the decision to kiss before marriage is a personal one for Catholics, and there are varying opinions on the matter within the Church. While some believe it is a mortal sin, others believe it is not inherently wrong as long as it does not lead to lustful thoughts or actions.
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Making out is a mortal sin if it leads to lustful pleasure
Making out, or intimate physical affection between partners, can be a beautiful expression of love and tenderness within a relationship. However, from a Catholic perspective, it is important to approach this topic with caution, especially when it comes to the potential for mortal sin.
The Catholic Church teaches that any action that leads to lustful pleasure and distracts from a pure, virtuous life can be considered a mortal sin. This means that if making out stimulates lustful thoughts, desires, or actions that contradict the values of chastity and self-control, it could be deemed a mortal sin. Lust is considered a disordered desire that reduces another person to an object of sexual gratification, rather than respecting their inherent dignity as a child of God.
When making out, it is important for Catholics to examine their intentions and ensure that their actions are rooted in love, respect, and honor for their partner. If making out becomes a means to satisfy one's own sexual desires without regard for the other person, it veers into sinful territory. This is a delicate balance, as physical intimacy can blur the lines between expressing love and giving in to lustful impulses.
To avoid mortal sin, Catholics are encouraged to practice self-discipline and maintain a prayerful attitude towards their relationships. This includes seeking to honor God through their actions and respecting the sacredness of the human person, created in the image and likeness of God. By keeping their intentions pure and their actions respectful, Catholics can navigate physical intimacy in a way that aligns with their faith and values.
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Deliberate stimulation of sexual appetites outside of marriage is a mortal sin
Catholicism is nuanced, and the Church does not have a precise rule for when, how, and how much a Catholic may kiss their love interest. However, the Church teaches that it is a mortal sin to deliberately stimulate one's sexual appetites outside of marriage. This is because sexual pleasure is sought outside of the context in which it is demanded by the moral order, that is, within the sexual relationship between spouses who are open to new life.
According to the Catechism, lust is a "disordered desire for, or inordinate enjoyment of, sexual pleasure" (2351). Sexual pleasure is disordered "when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes." Thus, it is good to seek sexual pleasure within the union of spouses, but it is wrong to seek it outside of that context.
Passionate kissing, or 'making out', between unmarried persons is considered a mortal sin because it is an occasion of sin. It stirs up passions and is designed to get both parties in the mood for sex. Thomas Aquinas explores this question in the Summa Theologiae, asking "whether there can be mortal sin in touches and kisses." He concludes that kisses and caresses are not sinful in themselves if they are done without lustful pleasure, but they become mortally sinful if they lead someone to consent to lustful pleasure or if they are done for the sake of this pleasure.
Some Catholics choose to abstain from passionate kissing before marriage, believing that it is a form of self-control that allows them to develop genuine affection, serve and sacrifice for each other, and foster emotional intimacy. However, others disagree, arguing that kissing is all they have left since pre-marital sex, masturbation, and porn are out of the question.
It is important to note that temptations are not sins, and there is no need to be scrupulous if one intends to express affection and inadvertently experiences arousal. However, if an action routinely arouses an individual and tempts them into lust, it is a warning to avoid that action in the future.
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Catholics should avoid pre-marital acts, masturbation, and pornography
The Catholic Church teaches that sexual love is truly human only if it is an integral part of the love through which a man and a woman commit themselves totally to one another until death. This self-giving is only possible within the context of marriage.
Therefore, pre-marital sexual acts are considered a mortal sin, as they go against the biblical teachings that condemn fornication and other unclean or impure actions. The Church teaches that acts of fornication (pre-marital sex) and homosexual acts are gravely sinful and cannot be accepted by any Catholic.
Additionally, the Church teaches that masturbation is "an intrinsically and gravely disordered action." It is considered a sin against the Sixth Commandment as it violates the bond between the love-giving and life-giving aspects of the marital act. Masturbation is seen as a selfish act that turns inward instead of expressing love and unity between a married couple.
Pornography is also considered sinful by the Church. It offends against the virtue of chastity, which calls for Christians to respect the sanctity of their own human sexuality, integrating their physical and spiritual beings. Pornography is seen as a form of spiritual adultery, leading to the disintegration of the person and potentially resulting in physical adultery or other illicit sexual acts. It also exploits and debases the dignity of those involved, including the actors, vendors, and viewers.
In conclusion, Catholics are instructed to avoid pre-marital sexual acts, masturbation, and pornography as these are considered mortal sins that go against the biblical teachings and the values of love, unity, and respect for the human person.
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Jesus warns against looking lustfully at another person
Jesus, in his teachings, directly addresses the issue of lustful thoughts and looking at another person with sexual desire. In the Sermon on the Mount, recorded in Matthew 5-7, Jesus provides a foundation for ethical and moral conduct for his followers. Within this sermon, he specifically addresses the issue of lust and looking with desire:
"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell" (Matthew 5:27-30).
Here, Jesus elevates the standard of moral conduct beyond external actions to include internal thoughts and desires. He makes it clear that lustful looking is equivalent to adultery in the heart, emphasizing the seriousness of such thoughts. The radical imagery of tearing out one's eye or cutting off one's hand underscores the urgency to deal with lustful thoughts and desires. Jesus is not advocating self-mutilation, but rather using hyperbole to stress the importance of dealing decisively with sin.
In another passage, Jesus reiterates this warning: "Everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). This time, he is even more explicit, stating that the act of looking with lust is equivalent to committing adultery in one's heart. The message is clear—lustful thoughts and desires are just as sinful as the physical act of adultery.
Jesus' teachings on this matter provide a clear warning against looking lustfully at another person. His instructions are not to be taken lightly, as he underscores the seriousness of lust by equating it with adultery, a violation of the Seventh Commandment. By addressing the root of sinful actions—the thoughts and desires of the heart—Jesus calls his followers to a higher standard of purity and holiness.
As followers of Christ, we are called to strive for holiness in every aspect of our lives, including our thoughts and desires. By heeding Jesus' warning and seeking to cultivate purity of heart, we can honor God and reflect his holiness in our lives.
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Frequently asked questions
According to some Catholic sources, making out is a mortal sin if it involves lustful pleasure or leads to it. However, there is no precise rule, and it is up to each person to discern whether their actions are lustful.
The Bible warns against looking lustfully at another person, as it is considered adultery in one's heart. Lust is described as a "disordered desire for, or inordinate enjoyment of, sexual pleasure."
Premarital sex is considered a mortal sin in Catholic doctrine, and those who do not repent of it will go to Hell.
