Michael Brooks
There are many misconceptions about what it means to be single and Catholic. While the Catholic Church places a strong emphasis on marriage and family life, it does not mean that there is something wrong with being single. In fact, 46% of Catholic adults in the United States are single, and the Church has a long tradition of caring for and ministering to single Catholics, including widows, widowers, the divorced, and those who have never married. While it can be challenging to navigate single life as a Catholic, it is important to remember that God calls us and takes us as we are, and our marital status does not determine our worth or belonging in the Church.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Percentage of Catholic adults in the US who are single | 46% |
| Diverse group of single Catholics | Widowed (6.4%), never married (27.7%), separated (3.3%), divorced (8.7%) |
| Scripture that values unmarried people | St. Paul writes in 1 Cor. 7:8, "It is well for them to remain unmarried as I am" |
| Scripture that values single mothers | Pope Francis writes in Amoris Laetitia, "The Church must be particularly concerned to offer understanding, comfort and acceptance" |
| Scripture that values the wider family | Pope Francis writes in Amoris Laetitia, "The Church is a family of families, constantly enriched by the lives of all those domestic churches" |
| Lack of pastoral concern for single people | Formation of singles fellowships might help but could also "ghetto-ize" single people |
| Myths about being single | Being single means being unlovable or unworthy of love |
| Advice for single people | Be picky about shared values and vocations with potential partners |
| Benefits of being single | Opportunity to develop deeper, holy friendships and a more fulfilling relationship with God |
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What You'll Learn
It is better to be single than with the wrong person
Being single as a Catholic can be challenging, especially with the pressure to find a partner and the idea that marriage is a duty. However, it is important to remember that being single is not a defect or a sign of being unlovable. In fact, according to St. Paul, being unmarried can allow people to be free of worldly anxieties and stay focused on serving God.
Lillian Fallon, a single Catholic woman, emphasizes that being single is better than being with the wrong person. She encourages Catholics to be selective and discerning when choosing a spouse, prioritizing shared values and vocations. Rushing into a relationship can lead to complications and heartache, so it is important to trust in God's timing and pursue a partnership that aligns with God's purpose.
Waiting for the right person is worth the patience. Seek a partner who shares your love for God and enriches your faith journey. In the meantime, embrace the season of singleness by enjoying life, surrounding yourself with quality company, and growing in emotional and spiritual maturity. Remember, God is beyond a timeline, and He has a plan for your life.
Being single can provide peace and freedom from drama and the interrogation of a partner. It allows individuals to make decisions independently and spend quality time with themselves and their pets. While there may be moments of loneliness, it is better to be alone than miserable with the wrong person. Settling for the wrong partner can lead to unhappy marriages and regret.
In conclusion, it is better to be single than with the wrong person. Instead of rushing into a relationship, trust in God's timing and embrace the unique value of singleness. Seize the opportunity to grow and enjoy life, knowing that God has a plan for your journey towards finding the right partner.
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Singleness is not a sign of being unlovable
The Bible even celebrates singleness in certain passages. For example, St. Paul, who never married, writes in his first letter to the Corinthians, "To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain unmarried as I am" (1 Cor. 7:8). Paul goes on to explain that being unmarried allows people to be free from worldly worries and to focus solely on their devotion to God.
Being single as a Catholic can be seen as a gift and an opportunity to deepen your relationship with God and discover His plan for your life. It can be a time to build meaningful relationships, both with God and with others, and to develop a stronger sense of self and purpose. Singleness can also be a time to serve and love those around you and to recognise the unique gifts and passions that you bring to the world.
It is important to remember that everyone's path is different, and God may be calling you to be single for a reason. Singleness should not be viewed as a negative state or a temporary phase until marriage, but rather as a valid and fulfilling way of life. So, if you are single, know that you are loved and valued, and embrace the unique opportunities that this season of life presents.
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God calls some people to lifelong singleness
Singleness can be a gift from God, and there are many advantages to being single and Catholic. Single Catholics have more time to devote to Christian work, such as witnessing to people, helping out at camps, and leading Bible studies. They can also be more flexible and mobile in serving the kingdom of God. For example, they can more easily say yes to babysitting for a church family in an emergency.
However, single Catholics may also face unique challenges, such as loneliness and sexual temptation. They may also feel like they are treated as “spare parts” in their families, social groups, and churches. There is a perception among some Catholics that being single means a person is unlovable or unworthy of love. Single Catholics may also feel that their struggles are dismissed or not adequately addressed by the Church.
While the New Testament is positive about singleness, marriage is regarded as the norm and God's loving gift to humanity. However, it is important to remember that not everyone will marry, and that is okay. God calls some people to lifelong singleness, and this calling can be a blessing. St. Paul, for example, never married and wrote in his letter to the Corinthians, "To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain unmarried as I am" (1 Cor. 7:8). Paul also expressed his preference for singleness, stating that it frees people from worldly anxieties and allows them to focus on the Lord (1 Cor. 7:32).
Lillian Fallon, a single Catholic woman, emphasizes that God is beyond a timeline. Just because someone is single now does not mean they will be single forever. God has a plan and a purpose for each person, whether they are called to singleness or marriage. She also points out that it is better to be single than to be with the wrong person. Catholics who are single should not view their singleness as a defect or a sign that they are unlovable. Instead, they should recognize God's presence in their lives and know their worth in His unconditional love.
For those who feel called to singleness, it is important to seek confirmation through persistent prayer and mature reflection. While some may receive a direct word from God, others may gradually discern His will over time. It is also worth noting that those in the Catholic faith have the clarity of a mandated vow of celibacy to accompany their call to full-time ministry.
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The Church offers a place of belonging for single people
Singleness is a valid life path for Catholics. While the Church emphasises marriage and family life, it also acknowledges that some people are called to be single. In fact, 46% of Catholic adults in the United States are single, and they form a highly diverse group, including those who are widowed, never married, separated, or divorced.
The Church is a family, and single Catholics are a part of that family. Pope Francis writes in Amoris Laetitia, "The Church is a family of families, constantly enriched by the lives of all those domestic churches." This includes not only the nuclear family but also the wider family of aunts, uncles, in-laws, friends, and community members. Single Catholics can find a sense of belonging and community within the Church, knowing that they are valued and loved by God and their fellow believers.
Single Catholics can also find comfort and guidance in the scriptures. For example, St. Paul, who never married, wrote in his first letter to the Corinthians, "To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain unmarried as I am" (1 Cor. 7:8). Paul recognised that being unmarried can free people from worldly anxieties and allow them to focus more fully on the Lord. Other saints, such as Mother Angelica, the founder of EWTN, also never married and found their religious vocation.
While the Church may not always adequately address the needs and gifts of single people, it is working to improve in this area. Single Catholics can find support and fellowship within the Church, knowing that their state in life does not define them, and that their worth and belonging are found in God and their faith community.
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Single Catholics can date non-Catholics
Being single is a common experience for Catholics. In the United States, 46% of Catholic adults identify as single, with diverse backgrounds including widowed, never-married, separated, or divorced individuals. While the Church has traditionally placed great importance on marriage and family, it is important to remember that being single is not a defect or a sign of unworthiness. St. Paul, in his letter to the Corinthians, writes that being unmarried allows people to be free of worldly anxieties and stay focused on serving God.
When it comes to dating non-Catholics, the Catholic Church does not explicitly forbid it. Catholics can date and even marry non-Catholics. However, there are some important considerations to keep in mind. Firstly, Catholics are expected to abstain from premarital sex, and in marriage, every conjugal act must be open to the possibility of life, with no use of artificial birth control or contraception. If the relationship is headed towards marriage, both parties must agree to have their future children baptized and raised Catholic.
Additionally, the Catholic spouse must be prepared to uphold their faith and prevent potential dangers of defecting from it. This can be a challenge when intimately united with someone who does not share the same religious beliefs. It is worth considering whether you would be willing to continue the relationship as it is or hope for a conversion before marriage. While some non-Catholic partners may convert before marriage, it is not guaranteed, and issuing an ultimatum may not always be the best approach.
Ultimately, each couple's story is unique, and God's guidance is essential in these matters. It is important to be selective and discerning when choosing a partner, ensuring that you share the same values and vocations, especially when considering starting a family together. Remember, there is no shame in being single, and God has a plan for everyone, whether single or in a relationship.
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Frequently asked questions
Yes, it is okay to be Catholic and single. Singleness is a valid life path and God can make something lovely and good out of your current singleness. In fact, 46% of Catholic adults in the United States are single.
The Catholic Church puts a strong emphasis on marriage and children, describing it as a "covenant by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life". However, the Church says little about dating.
Being single and Catholic can mean that God is calling you to develop a deeper and more fulfilling relationship with Him. It can also mean that God is setting aside this time in your life for building deeper, holy friendships. Singleness can be a gift and an opportunity to serve and love those around you.
