Joshua Bennett
French kissing, or tongue-kissing, is a topic that has been widely discussed within the Catholic community, with some arguing that it is a sin against chastity to engage in any romantic relationship before marriage. While the Church does not provide specific rules or guidelines regarding kissing, it emphasizes the importance of avoiding lustful thoughts and desires. The Ninth Commandment, Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, and Jesus' admonition about looking lustfully highlight the sinfulness of indulging in lust. Thomas Aquinas concludes that kisses and caresses are not inherently sinful but can become so if they lead to lustful consent or are done with lustful intent. The Church encourages individuals to discern their own actions and intentions, recognizing that each person and couple may have different boundaries regarding physical intimacy.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| French kissing considered a sin? | French kissing is considered a sin if it elicits "carnal and sensible delight" or lustful pleasure. |
| Biblical commandments about kissing | There are no specific biblical commandments about kissing. |
| Church guidance | The Church does not provide a list of things to avoid but instead tells people what is sinful. |
| Individual interpretation | Some individuals believe that French kissing is a sin, while others do not consider it a sin as long as it does not lead to lustful thoughts or actions. |
| Marriage | French kissing is not considered a sin for married couples as long as it is done in appropriate circumstances. |
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What You'll Learn
French kissing outside of marriage
The Ninth Commandment, "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife," and Jesus' admonition about "whoever looks lustfully" emphasize internal sins against chastity through lustful thoughts and desires. Thomas Aquinas, in the Summa Theologiae, concludes that kisses and caresses are not inherently sinful if they are devoid of lustful pleasure. However, they become mortally sinful if they lead to consenting to lustful pleasure or are performed with such intent.
The absence of specific biblical commandments or Catechism paragraphs regarding kissing leaves room for interpretation. Some Catholics choose to avoid any private actions that they would not perform in public, setting boundaries to prevent arousal and lustful thoughts. Others emphasize the importance of self-awareness and prayerful discussion within relationships to navigate physical limits while encouraging mutual holiness.
French kissing, in particular, is considered by some to be a form of foreplay that can lead to sexual arousal and, therefore, is viewed as sinful outside of marriage. However, the definition of "too far" may vary among individuals and couples, and brief kisses are generally considered acceptable within Catholic dating relationships. Ultimately, the decision to engage in French kissing outside of marriage is a personal one, influenced by an individual's relationship with Christ, the guidance of the Church, and their interpretation of Catholic teachings on chastity.
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Lustful thoughts and desires
While the Bible does not explicitly mention French kissing, it is generally agreed upon that kissing is not a sin in itself. However, the Ninth Commandment, "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife", and Jesus' admonition about "whoever looks lustfully", indicate that indulging in lustful thoughts and desires is a sin.
Thomas Aquinas explores this question in the Summa Theologiae, asking "whether there can be mortal sin in touches and kisses". He concludes that kisses and caresses are not sinful if done without lustful pleasure. However, they can become mortally sinful if they lead to consent to lustful pleasure or if they are done with that intention.
The Church does not provide a list of things to avoid to prevent sin, but it does define chastity as the successful integration of sexuality within a person, resulting in inner unity. This means that sexuality is personal and human when integrated into a mutual, lifelong relationship between a man and a woman.
When it comes to lustful thoughts and desires, it is important for Catholics to avoid things that are likely to arouse them and lead to sin. This can vary from person to person, but some general guidelines include keeping clothes on and avoiding touching erotic zones. If an action routinely arouses an individual and tempts them to lust, it is a sign to avoid that action in the future.
It is also important to note that temptations are not sins. If someone experiences inadvertent arousal while expressing affection, it does not make them scrupulous. However, if they routinely consent to lustful pleasure in thought or deed, confession can provide forgiveness and help them grow in chastity.
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Self-control and temptation
The concept of self-control comes into play as individuals are advised to avoid actions that they know will lead to sexual arousal and temptation. This is a personal judgment, as different individuals and couples may have varying thresholds for what constitutes sexually arousing behaviour. Some suggested boundaries include keeping clothes on and refraining from touching erotic zones.
French kissing, as a form of passionate kissing, can be considered a grey area. While some individuals argue that it is a natural expression of affection, others view it as a precursor to sexual activity and, therefore, sinful outside of marriage. This ambiguity is reflected in the varying opinions within the Catholic community, with some individuals expressing scrupulosity about premarital kissing, while others believe that it is not inherently sinful as long as it does not lead to lustful thoughts or actions.
The intention and context of the kiss are crucial factors in determining its morality. If a kiss elicits "carnal and sensible delight" or leads to consenting to lustful pleasure, it is considered gravely sinful. However, brief kisses or pecks are generally accepted as harmless.
Ultimately, the Catholic Church encourages individuals to exercise self-control and avoid giving in to temptation. While French kissing may not be explicitly prohibited, it can become sinful if it leads to lustful thoughts or actions. The Church emphasizes the importance of integrating sexuality within a person's inner unity, as defined by chastity, rather than providing a list of prohibited behaviours.
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Brief kisses vs makeout sessions
There is no clear consensus on whether French kissing is a sin in Catholicism. Some sources suggest that kissing is not a sin as long as it is not lustful or done with lustful intentions, while others argue that French kissing is always a sin, especially if it leads to further sexual arousal or activity.
When it comes to brief kisses versus makeout sessions, the Catholic Church does not provide explicit guidelines. However, it is generally understood that kisses between dating couples should not become makeout sessions. Brief kisses are generally considered acceptable, as long as they do not lead to sexual arousal or lustful thoughts. Makeout sessions, on the other hand, may be considered sinful if they involve prolonged French kissing that elicits "carnal and sensible delight" and increases the likelihood of progressing to full sexual relations.
The Ninth Commandment, "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife," and Jesus' admonition about "whoever looks lustfully" emphasize the importance of avoiding lustful thoughts and desires. Thomas Aquinas explores this question in the Summa Theologiae, concluding that kisses are not inherently sinful but can become so if they lead to consent to lustful pleasure.
Catholics are encouraged to adopt certain boundaries in dating, such as keeping clothes on and avoiding touching erotic areas. These boundaries help prevent situations that could lead to lust and sin. However, it is also acknowledged that temptations are not sins, and inadvertent arousal does not make one scrupulous. The key distinction is whether an action routinely arouses and tempts one to lust, in which case it should be avoided.
Ultimately, the decision to engage in French kissing or limit oneself to brief kisses depends on an individual's relationship with God and their interpretation of Catholic teachings. Some Catholics may choose to avoid French kissing altogether to prevent any potential sin, while others may engage in brief kisses as long as they do not lead to lustful thoughts or desires.
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Sexual arousal
The Catholic Church does not have a definitive rule on kissing and sexual arousal, leaving it to individuals to discern whether their actions are lustful. According to Catholic teachings, consenting to lustful pleasure is sinful, and kisses are considered sinful if they tempt someone into lust or are done to intentionally experience sexual pleasure outside of marriage.
The Church encourages individuals to adopt boundaries to avoid sexual arousal and the temptation of lust. These include keeping clothes on, avoiding touching erotic zones, and refraining from prolonged kissing or making out. Brief kisses are generally considered acceptable, but the intention behind them is crucial. If a kiss is intended to arouse venereal pleasure, it is considered gravely sinful.
The Church teaches that sexuality is meant to be integrated into a complete and lifelong mutual gift between a man and a woman within marriage. Therefore, any actions that lead to sexual arousal outside of marriage are considered contrary to Catholic morality. However, opinions vary within the Catholic community, with some advocating for physical affection during courtship as long as it does not lead to fornication.
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Frequently asked questions
French kissing, or any kissing that elicits "carnal and sensible delight", is considered a sin if it is done outside of marriage. However, if a married couple engages in French kissing, it is not considered a sin as long as it is done in appropriate circumstances.
The Church does not provide specific rules regarding kissing, but it emphasizes that consenting to lustful pleasure outside of marriage is sinful.
It is up to the individual to discern whether their actions, such as kissing, are driven by lustful intentions. If a kiss leads someone to consent to lustful pleasure or is done with the purpose of experiencing sexual pleasure outside of marriage, it is considered a sin.
French kissing can be considered a violation of chastity, which involves the successful integration of sexuality within a person. If French kissing leads to lustful thoughts or desires, it can be seen as a sin against chastity, even if it does not progress to physical acts.
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