Rachel Evans
While it is human nature to judge others, it is important to strive to be non-judgmental. Jesus himself said, Judge not, that you be not judged (Matthew 7:1). This does not mean that we should ignore immoral behaviour, but rather that we should judge actions and not the person. We should also be aware of our biases and assumptions and try to offer correction with love and firmness. Judging others can be dehumanizing and reduce them to the lowest common denominator. By working on ourselves and striving to think kindly, we can stop immediately judging others and offer true friendship and unconditional love.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Recognize your biases | Never assume anything about someone else. |
| Shut your mouth | Stay quiet when your thoughts shout untruths. |
| Cultivate love | Train yourself to love others. |
| Be non-judgmental | Do not judge the person, but judge their actions. |
| Judge rightly | Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment. |
| Judge not | Do not judge others so that you may not be judged. |
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What You'll Learn
- Recognise your biases and don't assume anything about someone else
- Be mindful of your thoughts and try to reframe them to be positive
- Understand that judging others is dehumanising
- Don't ignore immoral behaviour, but address it without judgement of the person
- Reflect on your own sins and how you would like to be treated
Recognise your biases and don't assume anything about someone else
Recognising your biases is a crucial step in stopping yourself from judging others. Biases are often unconscious, learned assumptions, beliefs, or attitudes that exist in the subconscious. They are influenced by our experiences, upbringing, and exposure to stereotypes. While biases are a normal part of human brain function, helping us process information quickly, they can lead to skewed judgments and reinforce stereotypes.
To recognise your biases, you must first understand that they exist and be open to discovering them. This requires a commitment to living with a discovery mindset, where you actively seek out diverse perspectives and challenge your assumptions. When you find yourself making judgments about a person or group, ask yourself how well you truly know them. Are your judgments based on preconceived notions or stereotypes? Take a moment to pause and reflect on the accuracy of your thoughts and the potential impact of your biases.
Practising intentional self-reflection is another effective way to recognise your biases. After interactions or encounters, take time to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. Ask yourself questions such as, "Did I handle that situation correctly?" or "Why did I respond in that way?" By reflecting on your own thoughts and actions, you can gain insight into your underlying biases and assumptions.
Additionally, feedback is a valuable tool for recognising your biases. Encourage and welcome feedback from others, and be open to receiving it. Once you receive feedback, reflect on it and consider how it might illuminate your biases. While it can be challenging to recognise and confront your biases, it is important to remember that everyone has them. By actively working to recognise and address your biases, you can strive to be more inclusive, equitable, and understanding of others.
Finally, when it comes to Catholicism, it is important to note that while judging the actions of others is necessary at times, Jesus cautions against judging rashly or hypocritically. Catholics are encouraged to strive for non-judgmental attitudes and to offer correction with love and kindness. Judging actions is different from judging the person, and it is important to extend unconditional love and friendship to others, just as God loves and accepts us.
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Be mindful of your thoughts and try to reframe them to be positive
Being mindful of your thoughts and reframing them to be positive is a crucial step in stopping immediate judgement of others. This involves actively catching yourself when you have critical thoughts about someone and consciously choosing to think kindly instead.
A helpful strategy is to consider how your thoughts would appear to God. As a Christian, it is important to remember that God is the ultimate judge of good and evil, and that He expects you to strive for righteousness in your own life before judging others. Ask yourself: "How does it look to God when I have these thoughts?" and "How can I please God by thinking more kindly of this person?"
Another way to reframe your thoughts is to remember that everyone has their own unique backstory and perspective, which influences their actions. Rather than jumping to conclusions, admit to yourself that you don't fully understand their words or behaviour. This simple acknowledgement can foster respect and empathy, helping you to see the person beyond their actions.
Additionally, when critical thoughts arise, make a conscious effort to identify positive attributes about the person. This practice, recommended by St. Therese of Lisieux, can help you develop a more positive mindset and appreciate the good in others.
Finally, remember that judging others is often a result of our own biases and ignorance. We may not have all the information or understand someone's context, so it is important to refrain from jumping to conclusions. Instead, focus on cultivating genuine love and acceptance for others, just as Jesus taught.
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Understand that judging others is dehumanising
Judging others is a natural instinct of the human brain, and it is deeply ingrained in human behaviour. We often judge others based on our own set of rules, values, and life experiences. However, when we judge others, we are effectively placing ourselves above them, deeming them less than human, and denying them fundamental human qualities. This is dehumanising.
Dehumanisation can take many forms, from blatant and verbalised to subtle and unconscious. People can be likened to animals or implicitly denied qualities such as rationality, self-control, and complex emotions. This can lead to violence, deprivation, exclusion, and dispossession, with the suffering of those affected being ignored or minimised.
Judging others can also be a response to trauma or a way to feel superior and boost one's ego. It can be a result of low self-esteem and a lack of confidence, with people putting others down to feel better about themselves. This can be seen in the case of Susan Boyle, who was judged and laughed at during her audition for Britain's Got Talent. The audience deemed her a fool based on her appearance and age, dehumanising her by deciding she was less than them.
To stop judging others, it is important to recognise that it is not our place to judge. We should strive to be non-judgmental and to love unconditionally, offering friendship and acceptance to those around us. We can practice self-awareness, compassion, empathy, and curiosity to break the habit of judging others. When critical thoughts arise, we can try to think kindly and positively about others, reflecting on how our thoughts might please God.
In conclusion, understanding that judging others is dehumanising involves recognising the impact of our judgments on others and striving to treat others with the same love, mercy, and holiness that God treats us.
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Don't ignore immoral behaviour, but address it without judgement of the person
While it is important not to judge others, this does not mean that immoral behaviour should be ignored. The Bible exhorts us to judge the behaviour of others rightly, and Jesus himself said, "Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment" (John 7:24). However, we must be careful not to judge the person but instead focus on addressing their actions.
When faced with the immoral behaviour of loved ones, it is crucial to judge justly. This involves first ensuring that we are living righteous lives ourselves and setting a good example. We must also strive to form our consciences correctly so that we can recognize sin when we see it. Only then can we effectively help our loved ones live their lives in a way that is pleasing to God.
It is important to remember that we should not jump to conclusions about another person's culpability in sin. Judging hypocritically is not effective, as Jesus cautioned against this in the Lord's Prayer: "Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?" (Matthew 6:12). Instead, we should strive to be non-judgmental and unconditional in our love, offering correction when needed but doing so with kindness and firmness.
Additionally, when critical thoughts arise, we can practice thinking positively about the person and offering affirmations for the goodness we see. This can help us to see beyond the surface and view others as God sees them. Ultimately, we should leave the judgement to God, who is the judge of the good and the bad, while we focus on loving and helping our neighbours to the best of our abilities.
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Reflect on your own sins and how you would like to be treated
When reflecting on your own sins and how you would like to be treated, it is important to remember that Jesus did not instruct his followers to ignore or approve of immoral behaviour. Instead, he encouraged them to distinguish between good and evil in their own behaviour and in the conduct of others. This is reflected in the scripture: "You will know them by their fruits" (Matthew 7:20).
Jesus cautioned against judging hypocritically, as seen in the following passage: "Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is a log in your own eye?" (Luke 6:41-42). This highlights the importance of self-reflection and recognizing your own biases.
Jesus further explained how to judge rightly: "First take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye" (John 7:24). This suggests that before judging others, we should reflect on our own sins and shortcomings. By doing so, we can gain clarity and ensure that our judgments are not clouded by our own biases or shortcomings.
Additionally, it is important to treat others as we would like to be treated ourselves. As stated in the Lord's Prayer: "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us" (Matthew 6:12). This serves as a reminder to strive for holiness, mercy, and love in our interactions with others.
When we find ourselves judging others, we can practice humility by acknowledging that we, too, are sinners. Instead of focusing on the shortcomings of others, we can cultivate love and compassion, recognizing that we all have our unique struggles and experiences.
In conclusion, by reflecting on our own sins, treating others with mercy and love, and cultivating humility and compassion, we can strive to judge others less harshly and improve our relationships with those around us.
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