Sarah Mitchell
There are many ways to irritate Catholics, from the trivial to the offensive. Some of the more innocuous ways include sitting through a Catholic church service or wearing anti-religious clothing. More offensive methods include questioning the virginity of Jesus's mother, Mary, or suggesting that Mary was a sinner. Other methods include debating the nature of birth control and suicide, or attempting to obtain a consecrated communion wafer for the sole purpose of destroying it. Catholics can also be annoyed by criticism of the Catholic Church, such as claims that Catholics were not the first Christians or that the Catholic Church is fallible and open to criticism. Additionally, calling religious leaders Father can be seen as irritating to Catholics, as it is interpreted as an interpretation of scripture that may not be accurate. Some people even suggest provoking Catholics to galvanize atheists into action, although this may lead to negative consequences such as physical violence. On the other hand, some Catholics believe that being annoying can be a good thing if it means radiating the joy found in Christ and celebrating the good in culture.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Wearing anti-religious clothing | 10 points |
| Participating in sinful sexual activity | 10 points |
| Anger a Catholic through the internet | 15 points |
| Sit through a Catholic church service | 1 point per minute |
| Insist that you can talk to God yourself | N/A |
| Suggest Mary was a sinner | N/A |
| Mention that Jesus had two fathers | N/A |
| State that Jesus was brown or black | N/A |
| Shout that Christianity copied Islam | N/A |
| Mention that the birthplace of Christianity is now a Muslim stronghold | N/A |
| Discuss birth control | N/A |
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What You'll Learn
Wear anti-religious clothing
While there is no specific dress code for attending Catholic Mass, wearing anti-religious clothing could be considered disrespectful and cause offence to Catholics. This is because Catholics consider religious iconography to be sacred, and wearing or displaying these symbols flippantly or for fashion may be seen as banal or ironic, and therefore offensive.
For example, wearing a rosary as a piece of jewellery, rather than as a religious item, could be considered disrespectful. Similarly, wearing clothing with Catholic symbols or art that is not intended to express genuine religious belief may be seen as inappropriate. This is especially true if the clothing is perceived to be mocking or ridiculing the Catholic faith.
In addition, wearing clothing that is immodest or revealing can be a distraction to others during Mass and is therefore discouraged. For men, this includes tank tops, shorts, and tight or form-fitting clothing. For women, low-cut tops, clothing that exposes the back or shoulders, and form-fitting clothing are considered inappropriate.
Finally, dressing up as a Catholic priest could be considered offensive, particularly if it is done to mimic or ridicule Catholic practices or to deceive others.
So, if one wanted to upset a Catholic through their clothing choices, they could wear anti-religious clothing that mocks Catholic beliefs or symbols, or they could wear immodest clothing that distracts from the solemnity of the Mass.
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Destroy a consecrated communion wafer
Destroying a consecrated communion wafer is a sure way to anger a Catholic. These wafers, also known as hosts, are considered sacred in the Catholic Church, and there are strict rules surrounding their handling and disposal.
Firstly, it's important to understand the significance of these wafers. In Catholicism, during the Eucharist or Divine Liturgy, the communion wafers are believed to be transformed into the body of Christ through a process called transubstantiation. This is a critical part of Catholic Mass, and these wafers are treated with the utmost reverence.
Now, onto the destruction. The first step is to obtain a consecrated wafer. This may be challenging, as they are typically only handled by priests and distributed during Mass. If you can attend a Mass, you may be able to receive the wafer and then discreetly take it with you instead of consuming it.
Once you have the wafer, you could consider various methods of destruction. Burning or tearing it into pieces could be options, although this may draw attention and cause upset among Catholics. A more discreet method might be to dissolve the wafer in liquid, effectively erasing any physical trace of it.
However, it is important to note that destroying a consecrated wafer is not only offensive to Catholics but also illegal in some places. Canon law and certain countries' laws prohibit the desecration of the Eucharist, and doing so could result in legal consequences. Additionally, keep in mind that this act would be deeply hurtful to Catholics, who view this as desecrating the body of Christ.
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Suggest Mary was a sinner
To suggest that Mary was a sinner is to go against the teachings of the Roman Catholic Church, which holds that Mary was immaculately conceived and lived a sinless life. This doctrine of the Immaculate Conception was formally accepted as Catholic dogma in 1854. It states that Mary was "preserved free from all stain of original sin" and had no sinful nature.
However, there are several arguments that could be made to suggest that Mary, the mother of Jesus, was indeed a sinner. Firstly, it is important to note that the doctrine of Mary's Immaculate Conception is not found in the Bible. The Bible portrays Mary as a normal person with a need for salvation, as evidenced by her praise-filled, humble prayer in Luke 1: "My spirit rejoices in God my Savior" (verse 47). If Mary was sinless, she would not have needed a "Savior." Additionally, Mary receives a gentle rebuke from Jesus in John 2:4, which seems inconsistent with the idea that she was sinless.
Another argument against Mary's sinlessness is based on the principle that "nobody is good but God alone" (Mark 10:18). According to this principle, since Mary is not God, she cannot be good and therefore must be a sinner. Furthermore, the Bible teaches that all have sinned and fall short of God's glory (Romans 3:23), and there is nothing in Scripture to suggest that Mary was an exception to this rule. In fact, the apostle John wrote, "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us" (1 John 1:8–10), which includes Mary in its reference.
Additionally, the testimony of the Scriptures suggests that Mary was a sinner. For example, we read of Mary and Joseph offering sacrifices in the temple, which was a common practice for sinners seeking atonement. Furthermore, Luke points out that Mary needed 'purification' after giving birth to Jesus (Luke 2:22), which was a ceremonial ritual for women who were considered unclean after childbirth due to the blood associated with birth.
Suggesting that Mary was a sinner not only goes against Catholic doctrine but also has philosophical implications for the sinlessness of Jesus Christ. The doctrine of Mary's Immaculate Conception seeks to protect the sinlessness of Jesus by ensuring that he was conceived without sin in the womb of a sinless mother. However, this doctrine is not necessary, as Jesus's sinlessness can be explained by the Holy Spirit's involvement in his conception, as announced by Gabriel in Luke 1:35: "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you."
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Argue over Jesus
Arguing over Jesus is a surefire way to irritate a Catholic. Here are some ways to do it:
Firstly, criticise the Catholic Church and its teachings. Catholics believe that the Catholic Church is the Church that Jesus Christ founded and that it is the pillar and ground of truth. They base this belief on the Bible and Church History, citing specific verses from the New Testament to support their claim. Attacking the legitimacy of the Catholic Church as the true Church established by Jesus will likely provoke a strong response.
Secondly, question the authority of the Pope. Catholics view the Pope as an important authority figure, believing in the concept of papal infallibility. However, this belief is often a point of contention. Highlighting the perceived failures or moral shortcomings of a particular Pope can be an effective way to irritate Catholics.
Thirdly, bring up the topic of sin and anger. Catholics believe that anger is not inherently a sin, but rather, it is the reaction to anger that can be sinful. For example, expressing anger through physical harm or cruel accusations is considered a mortal sin. By arguing that any form of anger is sinful, especially in the context of Jesus' own displays of anger in the Bible (see Jn 2:13-17), you can provoke a strong emotional response from Catholics.
Additionally, make provocative statements about Jesus himself. Suggest that his mother was impure and unfaithful, implying that Jesus had two fathers. This not only insults Mary but also challenges the concept of Jesus' divine birth. You could also argue that Jesus' birthplace and the region he grew up in would have made him a person of colour, which might be seen as an attempt to appropriate his image.
Lastly, compare Christianity and Islam. Suggest that Christianity copied Islam because they both originated in the Middle East, and point out that the birthplace of Christianity is now predominantly Muslim. This not only irritates Catholics but also implies that their religion is derivative.
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Call a priest 'Mr'
Calling a priest "Mr" is likely to be seen as disrespectful by Catholics, as they traditionally address their priests as "Father". This tradition is rooted in the letters of the Apostles, who, on multiple occasions, referred to those they were preaching to as their children. Catholics show respect and humility by addressing their priests as "Father".
If you wish to annoy a Catholic, calling a priest "Mr" is one way to do it. This is because you are rejecting the tradition and the sentiment of respect and humility that comes with it.
However, it is important to note that not all Catholics agree with this tradition. Some believe that the Bible does not support calling any man "Father" in a religious sense.
Additionally, there are other ways to annoy a Catholic, such as insisting that you can talk to God yourself, or suggesting that Mary was a sinner.
If you are considering becoming a priest, it is important to look out for signs from God and to seek guidance from those who can help you discern your calling.
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Frequently asked questions
Participate in "Piss Off The Catholics Month". You can gain points by sitting through a Catholic church service, wearing anti-religious clothing, engaging in sinful sexual activity, and angering Catholics on the internet.
You can make posts about how Catholics are not the first Christians, and that their worship is not as Bible-focused as other denominations. You could also suggest that Mary, the mother of Jesus, was a sinner.
Obtaining a consecrated communion wafer and destroying it is sure to anger Catholics. You could also attend a Catholic church service and wash off the ashes on your forehead with holy water.
Discussing topics such as birth control, suicide, or making off-color jokes about hell and damnation could piss off a Catholic.
