Joshua Bennett
Loving yourself can be a challenging concept for Catholics, who are taught to put others first and practice self-sacrifice and self-denial. However, it is important to strike a balance, as excessive self-denial can lead to self-hatred and a hindrance to our mission to live out the core truth of the Gospel. To love oneself in a Catholic context means to see oneself as God sees us, with humility, mercy, and gratitude for His creation. It involves nurturing spiritual health through prayer, Mass, sacraments, spiritual reading, and devotion. Additionally, it means taking care of our physical health, managing stress, and building positive relationships. Ultimately, loving oneself like Jesus entails speaking to oneself with kindness, gentleness, and encouragement, just as He would.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| See yourself as God sees you | True humility and mercy |
| Recognise your place before God | Understanding of His power and your need for Him |
| Embrace the value given to you by God | Gratitude for how He created you and everything around you |
| Avoid excessive self-love | Avoid putting yourself before others |
| Avoid narcissism | Inhibits Christians from exercising true love |
| Seek spiritual health | Prayer, spiritual reading, devotion, and penance |
| Nurture good relationships | Be a friend to others and allow others to be a friend to you |
| Forgive yourself | Be kind, gentle, and encouraging to yourself |
| Manage your emotions | Choose to fight negative emotions |
| Do things that impress yourself | Climb a mountain, learn a new skill, get certified |
| Take care of your physical health | Get enough sleep, eat well, exercise, practice self-care |
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What You'll Learn
Self-care and self-love are not selfish
Loving yourself is not selfish. In fact, it is a prerequisite to loving others. If you are mentally or spiritually imbalanced, sick, or exhausted, you will not be able to love your neighbour. Therefore, you must take care of yourself and be a good steward of the gift of life. This means taking care of your body and physical health. You love yourself when you get enough sleep, eat a well-balanced diet, exercise regularly, and practice good hygiene. It also means nurturing good relationships with family members and friends, having hobbies, enjoying the arts, and taking time to read.
However, it is important to note that excessive self-love or egoism can be a source of sin. Putting yourself first, being greedy, or believing that the world revolves around you are not what Jesus meant when he said, "Love yourself". Instead, Jesus wants you to have a strong and vibrant spiritual life. This includes praying every day, going to Mass, receiving the sacraments, and doing spiritual reading. It also involves being an active member of a parish community, being generous with your time and money, and sharing your faith with others.
To love yourself like Jesus is to speak to yourself with kindness, softness, and gentleness. It is to be affirming, life-giving, and encouraging. It is also to simplify and let go of anger. Forgiving yourself and others, as well as seeking help when needed, are also important aspects of self-love.
Additionally, doing things that impress yourself, such as learning new skills or achieving personal goals, can help you love yourself better. Volunteering and serving others can also be acts of self-love, as they allow you to see your worth and make a positive impact on the world.
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Balancing self-love and loving your neighbour
Loving yourself and loving your neighbour are not mutually exclusive concepts in Catholicism. In fact, self-love is necessary to be able to love your neighbour. However, Catholics must be careful not to fall into the trap of egoism or narcissism, which can cause the inversion of Christ's Gospel message. The key is to find a balance between the two.
When Jesus says, "Love yourself", he is not promoting egotism, pride, or hedonism. Rather, he is asking us to take care of ourselves and our spiritual, emotional, intellectual, and physical health. This includes getting enough sleep, eating a well-balanced diet, exercising regularly, and practising good hygiene. It also involves nurturing good relationships with family and friends, having hobbies, enjoying the arts, and engaging in enjoyable activities. Good spiritual health begins with prayer, attending Mass, receiving the sacraments, and doing spiritual reading.
Loving Your Neighbour
Loving your neighbour as yourself is one of the core teachings of Jesus. It means putting others before ourselves and willing their good. This can involve volunteering, serving the parish and wider community, and being generous with our time and resources. However, we cannot truly love our neighbour if we are not also taking care of ourselves. As the saying goes, "Good ministry begins with self-care."
Finding Balance
Finding the right balance between self-love and loving your neighbour can be challenging. On the one hand, we must reject the brokenness of our fallen human nature, including our weakness, sinfulness, and failures in love. On the other hand, we must embrace the value and worth that God has given us as his beloved children. We must see ourselves as God sees us, with true humility and mercy, and be grateful for the amazing way he has created us and the world around us. This balanced love of self will enable us to more perfectly love our neighbour.
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Recognising God's love for you
Loving yourself as a Catholic involves seeing yourself as God sees you, with humility and mercy. This means recognising your inherent value as a creation of God, and that you are worthy of His love. God loves you unconditionally, and this is a truth that can be difficult to accept. Many of us have grown up in environments where we were only rewarded with love when we did what our parents wanted, or when we achieved success. However, God's love is not dependent on your achievements or actions, it is a gift that is always available to you.
In the Scriptures, we see Jesus and God the Father revealing their love for sinners over and over again. God gave man free will, and He respects our freedom to choose. He will not force you to accept His love, but He will always offer it, even to those who have sinned. This is the miracle of God's mercy.
To recognise God's love for you, it is important to build a relationship with Him. Talk to Him every day through prayer, tell Him what is in your heart, and express your gratitude for the good things He has given you. Read the Bible and immerse yourself in Catholic worship. Join Jesus' Church and go to confession. Through these practices, you can come to know God's love for you on a deeper level, not just as an intellectual concept but as a lived reality.
It is also helpful to see yourself as God sees you. This means recognising your inherent dignity and worth as a child of God. We are all sinners, and we all fall short, but that does not make us unlovable in God's eyes. He sees us with compassion and mercy, and He wants us to experience His love and forgiveness.
Finally, remember that loving yourself is not about putting yourself first or seeking the approval of others. True self-love, according to St. Thomas Aquinas, involves seeking the spiritual good and willing the good of others. It is about recognising your value and worth as a creation of God and striving to live in a way that honours that.
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Taking care of your body and health
While spiritual needs are considered to be of greater value than physical needs, Catholics are encouraged to take care of their bodies and health. This is because the body is considered a temple of the Holy Spirit, and taking care of it is a way to honour God and express gratitude for his grace.
Catholics should therefore consider pursuing healthy eating habits, exercising regularly, drinking more water, and avoiding harmful substances. This can include preparing healthy meals, abstaining from unhealthy foods, and spending thirty to sixty minutes of the day doing physical activity.
Catholics are also encouraged to practice good hygiene, which is considered a virtue. This includes simple acts such as showering, brushing teeth, and changing underwear.
By taking care of their physical health, Catholics can better prepare and discipline themselves to train in godliness. This is because self-control and discipline in one area of life can lead to self-control and discipline in other areas, including the pursuit of godliness with the aid of the Holy Spirit.
In addition to physical health, Catholics should also pay attention to their mental health. This can include leisure activities that help to relax and fortify the health of the soul and body, such as spontaneous study and activities that incorporate fitness and care for the body.
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Speaking to yourself like Jesus would
Jesus encourages us to be completely honest and sincere with Him. He wants us to share our troubles, griefs, and sufferings with Him, and in return, He promises to heal our wounds and bring us sanctification. This is echoed in the Bible, where Jesus says, "Tell me all, my child, hide nothing from me, because my loving heart, the heart of your best friend, is listening to you."
In the same way, when we speak to ourselves, we should be honest about our emotions and thoughts. We can ask ourselves if our emotions are logical and beneficial, and if they are not, we can choose to fight them. For example, we can say, "I don't want to be angry; it's not going to help me."
Jesus also said, "Out of the heart's abundance, the mouth speaks" (Luke 6:45). This means that if our hearts are full of Christ, our speech will be full of Him as well. Saint Paul elaborates on this, explaining that we should set our hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.
Therefore, when we speak to ourselves, we should strive to speak with the love and compassion that Jesus would. We can ask ourselves how Jesus would view us and our situation. We can reflect on our inherent value as children of God and the worthiness to receive His love, just as Jesus and the saints did.
Additionally, we can follow the example of the saints, such as Saint Augustine, who laid bare his sins in his autobiography, and Saint Rose of Lima, who took on penances in secret. We can practice humility by praying in secret, giving alms, and being the first to admit to our faults.
By speaking to ourselves with honesty, humility, and compassion, we can strive to emulate Jesus and grow in our love for ourselves and others.
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Frequently asked questions
It is important to remember that Jesus wants you to love yourself. This involves taking care of your body and physical health, as well as nurturing your spiritual life through prayer, Mass, and spiritual reading.
It is also beneficial to nurture your relationships with family and friends, engage in enjoyable activities, and manage stress.
Loving yourself does not mean putting yourself first or being selfish. Instead, it means having a balanced love of self, where you recognise your value and worth in God's eyes.
First, identify the emotion and ask yourself if it is logical and beneficial. If it is not, choose to fight it by changing your thoughts and praying for God's help.
Some practical ways to love yourself include getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and practising good hygiene. It is also important to avoid dangerous activities and follow safety precautions.
It is important to speak to yourself with kindness and encouragement, just as Jesus would. Try to simplify your thoughts and show yourself compassion.
Additionally, doing things that impress yourself and helping others can also improve self-love.
