A Catholic Man's Guide To Relationships

how to he a catholic man in relationships

Being a Catholic man in a relationship comes with its own set of challenges and opportunities. While the traditional Catholic dating method may differ from modern dating norms, with casual sex and exploration being more common, it offers a chance for personal growth and discernment. Catholic men are encouraged to embody traits such as honesty, humility, self-control, and hard work, seeking holiness and real love. They take relationships seriously, discerning whether to pursue marriage or dedicate their lives to the priesthood. In Catholic dating, it is important to be honest and upfront, taking the time to build a foundation of friendship and compatibility before rushing into physical or emotional intimacy. Seeking God's will and personal growth within a relationship is also emphasized.

Characteristics Values
Honesty Being honest with your partner and yourself
Humility Putting the needs of your partner before your own desires
Hard work Putting in the effort to make the relationship work
Self-control Being able to laugh at yourself and not taking things too seriously
Trust Being loyal and trustworthy
Friendship Building a foundation of friendship before a romantic relationship
Personal growth Encouraging each other to grow and become better people
Compatibility Having shared interests, beliefs and goals
Chastity Being pure in body, mind and heart

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Be honest and humble

Honesty is a key trait of a strong Catholic man. It is important to be honest with yourself and those around you. This includes being open about your feelings and intentions, especially in relationships. If you are dating someone and feel there is no spark, it is important to be honest about that. Honesty also means not leading anyone on and being upfront about your expectations and boundaries.

Honesty is also about integrity and being truthful in all aspects of your life. It is about being genuine and not putting up a facade. This includes being honest about your past and any struggles you may have, such as with pornography addiction. By being honest, you can regain the trust of your loved ones and open yourself up to healing and change.

Being humble is another important trait for a Catholic man in relationships. Humility is about accurately perceiving yourself and your importance in the world, recognizing your limitations, and being open to learning from others. It is the opposite of arrogance and self-importance. Humility is often associated with commitment and satisfaction in a relationship. When you are humble, your partner perceives you as being committed and dedicated to the relationship, which promotes relationship satisfaction.

Humility is also about putting others before yourself and sacrificing for the relationship. It is about being unselfish and focusing on the greater good, rather than your own needs and desires. This can bring you closer to your partner and, ultimately, to God. Saints have referred to humility as the building block for all other virtues. For example, St. Maximilian Kolbe stated, "Humility is the foundation of all virtue. When it is lacking, the other virtues will also disappear."

To be a Catholic man in a relationship, it is important to strive for honesty and humility. These traits will help you build a strong foundation of trust and commitment, leading to a more satisfying and meaningful relationship.

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Avoid bad influences

As a Catholic man, it is important to be aware of the influences that can negatively impact your life and to take steps to avoid or minimise them. Here are some ways to avoid bad influences:

Choose Your Company Wisely

The people you spend time with can have a significant impact on your life. As St. John Bosco said, "Fly from bad companions as from the bite of a poisonous snake. If you keep good companions, I can assure you that you will one day rejoice with the blessed in Heaven; whereas if you keep with those who are bad, you will become bad yourself, and you will be in danger of losing your soul." If someone constantly engages in negative behaviour such as smoking, cursing, or displays a negative attitude, it is advisable to minimise contact with them, especially if they are not open to changing their ways.

Be Mindful of Entertainment Choices

Entertainment, including movies, TV shows, music, books, and games, can also be a source of bad influence. Even if you disagree with or are not affected by the messages conveyed, constant exposure to ungodly ideas can subtly change the way you think and believe over time. Be discerning about the content you consume, and opt for alternatives that align with your values.

Practise Prayer and Scripture Reading

When facing negative influences, prayer and reading the Bible can provide a source of strength and guidance. Ask God for help in letting go of things that are negatively impacting you, and lean on His strength to overcome improper thoughts and behaviours.

Expand Your Social Circle with Caution

Meeting new people and expanding your social circle is important, especially when looking for a potential spouse. However, it is crucial to exercise caution and discernment. Take time to get to know people and assess their compatibility with your values and beliefs. Be honest with yourself and others, and don't be afraid to walk away if you sense that a connection is not aligned with your values.

Focus on Friendship First

When dating, it is beneficial to view the initial stages as an opportunity to build a strong foundation of friendship. Take your time to get to know the other person, and pace yourself before rushing into emotional intimacy or physical affection. This approach allows you to develop a deeper understanding of each other and make more informed decisions about the relationship's future.

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Be open to personal growth

Personal growth is an important aspect of being in a relationship. After a few months of dating, it is a good idea to reflect on your personal growth and ask yourself some important questions: Am I becoming a better person because of this relationship? Is this relationship bringing out the best in me? Am I growing into the person God created me to be? These questions are crucial to evaluate the health of your relationship and ensure that it aligns with God's plan for your growth.

A relationship should contribute to your personal growth and development. It should help you grow closer to God and become more loving, patient, and understanding. It should also help you overcome personal vices and live a more virtuous life. While it is important to be aware of your personal growth, it should not become an obsession. Instead, view your relationship as a tool for self-improvement and a means to become the person God intends you to be.

To achieve this, it is essential to be open to change and willing to put in the effort. Relationships require genuine investment in time and energy. They should not feel like a chore, but there should be a sense of ease and compatibility with your partner. This means that while you should work on improving yourself, you should also ensure that the relationship feels natural and comfortable.

Additionally, it is important to remember that no relationship is perfect, and conflict may arise due to unaligned expectations. However, this presents an opportunity for growth as you re-evaluate certain values and ideals. You may learn to choose the person in front of you rather than an idealized version of a spouse. This process of discernment is crucial in Catholic relationships, as it helps you determine if the relationship is in line with God's will.

Finally, it is beneficial to seek encouragement and support from your friends during this process of personal growth. As St. John Bosco said, "Fly from bad companions as from the bite of a poisonous snake. If you keep good companions, I can assure you that you will one day rejoice with the blessed in Heaven." Surround yourself with people who embody virtues such as humility, honesty, self-control, and a sense of humor, as these traits will help you in your journey towards personal growth.

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Find a compatible partner

Finding a compatible partner as a Catholic man can be challenging, especially if you are looking for someone who shares your beliefs and values. Here are some tips to help you in your search:

Expand Your Social Circle

If you haven't found a partner among the people you already know, it's time to meet new people. Join social activities that interest you, such as recreational sports or partner dancing. Attend social events with an open mindset, and challenge yourself to meet new people, especially single women. You can also try online dating, which is a popular tool for many young Catholics today. However, it's important to bring the relationship into the real world as quickly as possible.

Be Approachable

Make yourself approachable by putting your phone away when you're in social settings. Look around the room, smile, and make eye contact. This can encourage someone to start a conversation with you. If no one approaches you, don't be afraid to take the initiative and say hello first.

Be Yourself

It is important to be genuine and true to yourself when looking for a compatible partner. Catholicism emphasizes honesty and authenticity in relationships. Don't pretend to be someone you're not, as this can lead to deception and hurt in the long run. Relationships should be built on a foundation of trust and shared values.

Seek a Partner with Shared Values

As a Catholic man, you may place importance on values such as faith, family, and commitment. Look for a partner who aligns with your values and beliefs, especially regarding chastity and purity. Communicate openly about your expectations and negotiate any differences. Remember, dating is a discernment period to determine if you are called to the vocation of marriage together, with God at the centre.

Take Your Time

When dating, there is no need to rush into exclusivity. It is perfectly acceptable to date multiple people initially, as long as you are honest about it. Take the time to get to know potential partners and allow serious topics to come up organically. Discuss your faith, beliefs, and expectations for the relationship.

Focus on Friendship

Friendship is the foundation of a great romantic relationship. Ask yourself if you enjoy your partner's company and if you share hobbies and activities. Do you respect each other's differences and perspectives? Is there mutual growth and a desire to share all aspects of life together? A strong friendship within your relationship will contribute to long-term compatibility.

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Be hardworking and fun

Hard work and fun are two important aspects of a successful relationship, and a Catholic man should embody these qualities.

Firstly, it is essential to recognise the value of hard work. St. Thomas Aquinas famously said, "Without work, it is impossible to have fun." This quote underscores the importance of diligence and effort in one's life and relationships. A hardworking Catholic man understands the significance of dedication and perseverance in achieving his goals and contributing to the household. He is willing to put in the effort to build a strong foundation for his family, both spiritually and materially.

Being hardworking also means being disciplined and diligent in one's spiritual practices. A Catholic man should strive to be firm in prayer and maintain a consistent spiritual routine. This includes attending church services, participating in religious activities, and incorporating prayer and devotion into daily life. By doing so, he sets an example for his family and helps to nurture their spiritual growth.

While hard work is essential, it is equally important to make room for fun and relaxation. A Catholic man should be able to create joyful moments and cherish lighthearted experiences with his partner and family. This involves finding shared hobbies and activities that bring happiness and foster bonding. It could be engaging in sports, enjoying leisure activities, or simply sharing a good laugh.

Additionally, a Catholic man should be open to new experiences and adventures, creating memorable moments that bring excitement and joy to his relationship. This sense of fun and adventure can strengthen the bond with his partner and create a positive atmosphere within the family.

Lastly, it is crucial to maintain a balance between hard work and fun. A relationship should not feel like a constant burden or labour. There should be a sense of ease and compatibility, where both individuals can support and uplift each other. This balance allows for a harmonious dynamic, where hard work is complemented by enjoyable experiences, creating a fulfilling and satisfying relationship.

In conclusion, a Catholic man should embody the qualities of being hardworking and fun by recognising the value of dedication, discipline, and spiritual practice, while also creating joyful, lighthearted moments and maintaining a balanced and harmonious relationship.

Frequently asked questions

These days, most young Catholics turn to online dating to meet new eligible singles. This is a great tool if used right. Catholic psychologist Greg Bottaro suggests bringing the relationship into the real world as quickly as possible.

A Catholic man should be honest, humble, hardworking, and have a good sense of humour. He should also be spiritually inclined and have a strong faith that is compatible with yours.

Take your time to get to know him and allow more serious topics to come up organically. Ask yourself: Are we aligned in our beliefs and desires? Do we communicate well? Is he helping me grow into the person God created me to be? Does he want children?

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