Ethan Walker
The Catholic Church has a long history of helping couples prepare for marriage and wants couples to form strong, lasting marriages. The Church teaches that marriage is a sacrament, and like other sacraments, it is for the good of the community as well as the couple. The Catholic Church teaches that marriage is a symbol of the covenant relationship between God and his people. Couples can grow in their marriages by studying the definition of marriage according to the Word of God, growing in faith together, and praying together.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Spiritual growth | Pray together, read the Bible, discuss readings, reflect on the Passion |
| Chastity | Set boundaries, practice confession, fight temptation |
| Faithfulness | Support each other, remain pure, trust in God |
| Fruitfulness | Be open to children |
| Joy and humour | Nurture joy and humour in the relationship |
| Holiness | Seek holiness over happiness, sanctify each other |
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What You'll Learn
Pray together
Prayer is an integral part of Catholic marriage, with couples encouraged to pray together to stay together.
How to Pray Together as a Catholic Couple
Firstly, it is important to note that there are many ways to pray, and couples can choose what works best for them. Prayer can take the form of meditation, contemplation, vocalisation, or a combination of these. For example, Lectio Divina is an early form of prayer that involves four steps: reading, meditating, praying, and contemplation. It can be performed with any scripture and is encouraged by the Catechism of the Catholic Church.
Couples can pray together in person or remotely, over the phone, or via video call. They can pray before meals, before bed, or while walking. They can also pray the Rosary together, meditating on its mysteries: Glorias, Joyful, Luminous, and Sorrowful.
What to Pray For
Couples can pray for their marriage, their families, and each other. They can also pray for guidance, forgiveness, and blessings. During prayer, couples can share important parts of their day and how they impact their marriage. They can ask each other how they are doing and how they can help each other.
Resources
Couples can use devotionals and prayer guides to help them find meaningful scripture passages and learn how to pray with them. They can also reflect on the Mass readings for the day and the Gospel. Additionally, music can be a helpful way to express love and worship God.
Benefits of Praying Together
Praying together as a Catholic couple can bring intimacy and acceptance, allowing partners to share the deepest parts of themselves with each other and God. It can also help couples grow closer to God and put life into perspective.
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Read the Bible together
The Catholic Church has a long history of helping couples prepare for marriage, with the goal of forming strong, lasting unions. The Church teaches that marriage is a sacrament, and that it is not just for the good of the couple, but for the community as a whole.
Reading the Bible together is a wonderful way for Catholic couples to grow in their marriage. It is a way to deepen their faith and strengthen their bond, as well as a means to keep Christ at the center of their marriage. Couples can choose to read the Bible daily, weekly, or at a frequency that suits them, and they can also decide on a specific routine, such as reading before bed or in the morning.
There are many ways to approach reading the Bible together. Couples may choose to read a specific passage and then discuss its meaning and how it relates to their lives and marriage. They might also take turns reading aloud, or one person may read while the other follows along. Couples can also reflect on the passages silently and then share their thoughts with each other.
In addition to the Bible, Catholic couples can also benefit from reading books about marriage and faith. For example, "Three to Get Married" by Fulton J. Sheen explores the value of marriage, while "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman can help spouses understand each other's primary love languages and improve their communication.
By reading the Bible and other faith-based literature, Catholic couples can strengthen their marriage and deepen their connection to God and to each other. It is a way to keep their marriage focused on their shared faith and to seek guidance and inspiration from the Scriptures.
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Go to Mass as a family
Attending Mass as a family is an important aspect of growing in marriage as Catholics. While it is not mandatory for young children to attend Mass, it is beneficial to do so as a family. Children can learn about the importance of prayer and develop habits of prayer by attending Mass and witnessing their parents' devotion.
In a family unit, the father is often regarded as the spiritual head of the household. By taking the lead in spiritual practices, such as attending Mass, praying as a family, and reading spiritual texts, the father can positively influence his children's spiritual growth and their likelihood of following Jesus.
However, it is important to remember that the goal of bringing children to Mass is not solely to ensure they sit quietly and still for the duration. Instead, the primary objective is to cultivate a love for God, His Son, and His Church. By keeping this in mind, parents can remain calm and redirect their children's behaviour calmly when they are not acting as expected.
Attending Mass as a family can also serve as a routine that children come to expect and hopefully look forward to. It can teach them about prioritising worship and creating a consistent spiritual practice.
While it may be challenging to attend Mass with young children, it is important to remember that God is pleased by the willingness to make sacrifices and bring the family to worship Him. Over time, children will learn about the liturgy, develop their own spiritual practices, and hopefully cultivate a love for God and the Catholic faith.
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Set boundaries
Setting boundaries is a crucial aspect of safeguarding a Catholic marriage from temptation and cultivating deeper intimacy. Boundaries act as limits that protect the sanctity of the union, shielding it from potential harm.
Recognize the Purpose of Boundaries
Understand that boundaries are not restrictive but protective. They are not about limiting freedom or affection; instead, they are about safeguarding your marriage from anything that could jeopardize your commitment to each other. Boundaries are a way to honour God's plan for sexual purity and to protect your relationship from the temptations that Satan presents.
Communicate and Seek Permission
Open and honest communication is essential in setting boundaries. Discuss your boundaries with your spouse and seek their input and agreement. For example, some couples decide that neither of them will be alone with someone of the opposite sex without advance permission from the other. This type of boundary helps to maintain trust and transparency in the relationship.
Maintain Purity and Confess Temptations
Decide on boundaries that help you maintain purity in your marriage. This may include refraining from movies, books, or other media that contain sexual content or innuendos. Additionally, create a safe space for each other to confess any sexual temptations early on. By doing so, you can address these issues together and maintain the purity of your marriage bed.
Avoid Isolated Interactions
It is wise to avoid situations where you are isolated with someone of the opposite sex. This may include not having their contact information or ensuring that any communication is transparent and visible to your spouse. While it may not always be possible to avoid being alone with someone of the opposite sex, minimizing these situations can help protect your marriage from potential temptations.
Evaluate and Adjust
Boundaries are not set in stone; they can evolve as your marriage grows and changes. Evaluate your boundaries periodically to ensure they are still effective and beneficial for your relationship. If something isn't working, be open to making adjustments. This flexibility allows you to create a dynamic that works best for both of you and adapts to your changing needs over time.
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Seek marriage resources
The Catholic Church has a long history of helping couples prepare for marriage and offers many resources for couples at all stages of life. For Your Marriage, an initiative of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, provides a monthly newsletter with inspiration, resources, and thought-provoking content. Catholic-Link also offers several great resources, including infographics, videos, and books, to help couples understand the purpose of marriage as God intends it to be.
Catholic-Link's Journey to Marriage podcast provides relationship tips for couples. They also recommend the BELOVED series from Augustine Institute, and the books Three to Get Married by Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen, Just Married: The Catholic Guide to Surviving and Thriving in the First Five Years of Marriage, and The Catechism of the Catholic Church.
For those looking to grow closer to God, Blessed Catholic Mom suggests praying together as a couple, such as saying nightly prayers. They also recommend reading the Bible or a book on apologetics together and discussing it. Additionally, they suggest deciding on a routine for spiritual practices, such as daily or weekly walks to pray together, and sticking with it.
For couples looking to grow in chastity before marriage, Catholic-Link offers some tips, such as establishing boundaries ("Red Seas") and communicating them to each other. They also emphasize the importance of supporting and praying for each other when facing challenges.
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Frequently asked questions
Growing in faith together may look like going to Mass as a family every weekend and discussing the readings afterward. It may also look like reading the Bible or a book on apologetics together and discussing it. Praying together, either daily or weekly, is another way to grow closer to God as a couple.
One way is to set boundaries and communicate them to your partner. This can include not spending time alone in each other's personal spaces and determining a good curfew time when you're out on dates. Another way is to seek guidance from Catholic resources such as Catholic-Link and For Your Marriage.
Catholic-Link offers several resources to help couples grow in their understanding of marriage as God intends it to be. They also have a podcast called Journey to Marriage. For Your Marriage is another Catholic initiative that provides inspiration, resources, and thought-provoking content through a monthly newsletter.
One book recommendation is *Three to Get Married* by Fulton J. Sheen, which is about the value of marriage. Another is *The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts* by Gary Chapman, which can help couples discover their primary love languages.
