Unlocking Intimacy With A Catholic: Strategies For More Sex

Catholicism has a unique perspective on sexuality, which is deeply rooted in the belief that sex is a sacred act designed by God to unite a husband and wife as one flesh. This unity is not just physical but also spiritual, reflecting the love between God and humanity. The Catholic Church teaches that sexual intercourse has a twofold purpose: unitive and procreative. According to Catholic theology, sexual relations are only permissible within the confines of marriage, and contraception is considered a grave sin as it deliberately frustrates the procreative purpose of sex. While some Catholics may view sex as something to be handled delicately and infrequently, others believe it should be celebrated frequently and joyfully within marriage. The Church also acknowledges that couples can plan the number of children they have and when to have them, as long as there are sufficiently serious reasons for spacing births or deciding not to have more children.

Sex within Catholic marriage

The Catholic Church has always taken a positive view of sexuality in marriage. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, marital intercourse is "noble and honourable", and God intends for spouses to experience "pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit".

The Catholic Church teaches that sexual intercourse has a twofold unitive and procreative purpose. The marriage bond is to be a sign of the love between God and humanity, and the human body and sex are considered good. Sexual expression outside of marriage or the use of contraception within marriage is considered a grave sin.

In Catholic theology, sexuality is an intimate part of a person's being, designed by God to unite a man and woman as one flesh. This is reflected in Genesis, where a man's companion is described as being made from his bone and flesh.

Within Catholic marriage, sex is considered holy, and when shared between a husband and wife, it plays a role in sanctification. The Church teaches that when a married couple makes love, they are celebrating the Sacrament of Matrimony, and that sex is a gift from God.

Chastity, according to the Catholic Church, is a virtue that moderates sexual appetite and refers to the successful integration of sexuality within a person. Sexual intercourse within marriage is considered chaste when it retains the twofold significance of union and procreation. It is considered lustful and impure when it is not lived and expressed in a holy and self-giving way.

The Catholic Church does not provide a list of acceptable practices for married couples. However, chaste and pure sexual love in marriage is characterised by self-giving, unconditional love, and the deepening of the spiritual union between the couple.

Catholic sexual sins

The Catholic Church's view on sex is that it is a sacred act, designed by God to unite a man and a woman as one flesh. This unity is a reflection of the love between God and humanity, and as such, sex is to be celebrated within the Sacrament of Matrimony. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, "conjugal love... aims at a deeply personal unity, a unity that, beyond union in one flesh, leads to forming one heart and soul".

Sexual sins, according to the Catholic Church, are those acts that go against the sacredness and holiness of the sexual act. The Church teaches that sexual intercourse has a twofold unitive and procreative purpose. Therefore, any acts that deliberately frustrate the procreative function of sexual expression within marriage, such as the use of artificial contraception, are considered grave sins.

The following are examples of sexual sins according to Catholic teaching:

• Lust: This is defined as an inordinate or disordered desire for sexual pleasure, sought for its own sake and removed from the unitive and procreative dimensions of marriage.
• Masturbation: The deliberate stimulation of the genital organs for sexual pleasure outside of the marital act.
• Pornography: The use of visual or auditory material that stimulates sexual pleasure and perverts the goodness of the marital act.
• Homosexual practices: Any sexual expression sought outside of the union between a man and a woman within marriage.
• Adultery: When two partners, one of whom is married to another person, have sexual relations.
• Polygamy and polyamory: Multiple sexual relationships that go against the sacred bond of marriage between two people.
• Abortion: The Catholic Church teaches that abortion is the murder of innocent human life and is, therefore, a mortal sin.

It is important to note that the degree of sin can vary, with some sins considered mortal and others venial, depending on the type and circumstances. Additionally, while the temptation to commit sexual sin exists, it is not a sin in itself according to Catholic teaching. The sin lies in the action, not the desire.

Catholic views on contraception

Catholicism has traditionally viewed contraception negatively, considering it a sin and "intrinsically evil". The Catholic Church teaches that sexual intercourse has a twofold unitive and procreative purpose. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, "conjugal love... aims at a deeply personal unity, a unity that, beyond union in one flesh, leads to forming one heart and soul". The Church believes that the use of artificial contraception constitutes a "grave sin" and a violation of natural law, as it deliberately frustrates the procreative function of sexual expression within marriage.

The Church's position on contraception was formally outlined in Pope Paul VI's Humanae Vitae in 1968, which deemed artificial contraception intrinsically evil and in conflict with God's laws. The document asserted that artificial birth control could lead to a "general lowering of moral standards" and "marital infidelity".

However, the Church does allow for Natural Family Planning, a method of birth control that does not usurp the natural way of conception. This involves abstaining from sexual intercourse during a woman's fertile periods. The Church acknowledges that couples can make sensible decisions about the number of children they have and when to have them, but insists on sufficiently serious reasons for not having or postponing children.

Despite the Church's stance, a 2015 survey found that 76% of US Catholics thought the Church should allow Catholics to use birth control.

Catholics are encouraged to view sex as sacred and holy, and an integral part of marriage. According to Catholic theology, sex is not a duty or a chore but rather an act of love and commitment between spouses. It is believed that God designed things the way they are for humans to be happy and fulfilled.

Catholic sex ethics

Catholic theology of sexuality is drawn from "natural law", canonical scripture, divine revelation, and sacred tradition. Sexual morality is evaluated according to standards laid out by Catholic moral theology, which provides general principles for Catholics to determine whether specific actions meet these standards.

The Catholic Church teaches that sexual intercourse has a twofold unitive and procreative purpose. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, "conjugal love ... aims at a deeply personal unity, a unity that, beyond union in one flesh, leads to forming one heart and soul", signifying that the marriage bond reflects the love between God and humanity. This belief stems from the understanding that God found everything he created to be "very good", implying that the human body and sex are inherently good.

In the context of marriage, the Catholic Church emphasizes the importance of sexual fulfillment, including pleasure, within the act of love between spouses of the opposite sex. This act signifies commitment for life, and the couple should be open to the possibility of conception. Sexual acts outside of this context, including premarital sex and the use of artificial contraception, are considered grave sins. The Church also considers sins against chastity, such as masturbation, fornication, pornography, and homosexual practices.

Historically, there have been differing opinions within the Catholic Church regarding the severity of various sexual sins. Theologies and laity may hold varying views on official teachings regarding sexuality. The concept of "natural law" in Latin, lex naturalis, refers to the use of reason to analyze human nature and deduce binding rules of moral behavior based on God's creation.

While some critics may perceive the Catholic Church as overly focused on sexual sin, the Church emphasizes the sacredness of sex within the context of marriage. Sex is viewed as a celebration of the Sacrament of Matrimony, contributing to the salvation of the couple. It is encouraged as a joyful expression of love rather than a duty or chore.

Catholic sex resources

The Catholic Church's view on sex is that it is a holy act that should be celebrated within the sacrament of matrimony. The Church teaches that sexual intercourse between a husband and wife is a unitive and procreative act that reflects the love between God and humanity. While the Church acknowledges that sexuality is a natural part of human life, it also sets guidelines for moral sexual behaviour according to Catholic theology.

Resources for Understanding Catholic Sexuality

• Theology of the Body - This resource provides a comprehensive understanding of Catholic theology on human sexuality, love, and the human person, based on the teachings of John Paul II.
• Catechism of the Catholic Church - The Catechism is a compilation of official Catholic teachings, including those on human sexuality and sexual morality.
• Natural Family Planning (NFP) - NFP is a method of fertility awareness that helps couples achieve or avoid pregnancy by tracking a woman's natural fertility signs. It is often recommended by the Catholic Church as a moral alternative to artificial contraception.
• Catholic Counselling - Catholic counsellors, such as CatholicCounselors.com, offer resources and guidance on sacred sex within the context of Catholic theology. Their website includes articles such as "Four Secrets of Sacred Sex" and recommendations for improving sexual intimacy in marriage.
• MyCatholicDoctor - This organisation provides Catholic sex education resources for parents and children, including online courses, books, and private consultations with fertility educators and physicians.
• Cherry Blossom Buds - A fertility education ministry for mothers and daughters based on the document "The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality" by the Pontifical Council for the Family.
• TeenFEMM - An online health program for young women to understand and monitor their hormonal health and fertility.

Understanding Sexual Sins in Catholicism

According to Catholic theology, sexual sins are those that go against the procreative and unitive purposes of sexual intercourse. These include:

• Masturbation
• Fornication (sexual intercourse between unmarried individuals)
• Pornography
• Homosexual practices
• Artificial contraception (as it deliberately frustrates the procreative function of sexual expression within marriage)

While the Catholic Church has strict guidelines for sexual morality, it also recognises the importance of sex as a holy and fulfilling act within marriage. Catholic sex resources aim to educate individuals on the theology of human sexuality and provide guidance on practising sacred sex within the sacrament of matrimony.

Frequently asked questions