Letting Go Of Anger: A Catholic's Guide To Forgiveness

how do i let go of anger catholic

Anger is a natural and unavoidable emotion, but as Catholics, we must learn to master it. The Bible and the saints offer wisdom on how to handle anger, emphasising the importance of forgiveness, humility, and patience. Holding onto anger poisons the soul, while letting go brings freedom. Jesus himself experienced anger, yet he responded without wrath, teaching us to turn the other cheek and love our enemies. We must strive to follow his example and transform our anger into goodness, patience, and love. This can be achieved through prayer, gratitude, and mastering our emotions with reason and faith.

Characteristics Values
Anger is a natural emotion
Anger is not always sinful
Bitterness only punishes you
Humility allows us to let go of offenses
Holding onto anger poisons the soul
Confession helps cleanse anger
Gentleness calms conflict
Patience is key
Avoid letting anger fester
Do not nurse your hurts, deal with them openly
Do not let anger master you
Be slow to anger and quick to forgive
Do not let anger dictate your actions
Do not lash out
Do not let anger damage your relationship with God

cyfaith

Recognise righteous anger vs sinful anger

Anger is a natural human emotion, and even Jesus experienced it in his human form. However, as Catholics, we must learn to master our anger and not let it master us.

Righteous Anger

Righteous anger is anger against sin and is considered healthy when it helps one identify an offence and deal with it constructively. It is always out of love and always on behalf of God or the innocent, not oneself. It seeks true justice and retribution. Examples of righteous anger can be seen in Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., and Cesar Chavez.

Sinful Anger

Sinful anger is hatred for the sinner. It stems from pride, vanity, or greed and evolves into resentment, hostility, and revenge. It is sinful when it becomes destructive behaviour or turns into a deliberate desire to kill or seriously wound another person.

How to Recognise the Difference

  • Righteous anger is directed at actual sin and seeks to restore holiness, while sinful anger is more a result of selfish, self-serving motives.
  • Righteous anger comes from godly convictions, whereas sinful anger is driven by tainted and self-justifying human nature.
  • Righteous anger seeks to restore relationships, while sinful anger seeks to "even the score."
  • Righteous anger is controlled, whereas sinful anger threatens to control us.

cyfaith

Forgive others to receive forgiveness

Anger is a natural human emotion, and even Jesus experienced it in his human form. However, anger can be sinful, depending on its cause and how we react. Sinful anger, according to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, is "gravely against charity" and is a "mortal sin". It is a "desire for revenge". On the other hand, righteous anger is controlled and directed at restoring holiness.

Forgiveness is key to dealing with sinful anger. However, forgiveness does not mean condoning or excusing someone's bad behaviour. Instead, it is about giving up resentment and the desire for revenge, and striving to love the person who hurt you.

According to Jesus, we must forgive others as we wish to be forgiven ourselves: "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us" (Matthew 6:15). He also said, "Love your enemies" (Matthew 5:44). However, this does not mean we have to like our enemies, and we should still act with caution to protect ourselves.

Jesus forgave even those who did not ask for forgiveness, demonstrating that we should be willing to forgive others even when they are not sorry for their actions. This does not mean that we have to forget what they did, as God does not "forget" in that sense either. Instead, forgiveness is about letting go of the anger and resentment we feel towards someone, which can bring us peace and freedom.

To forgive others, we can follow Jesus' example and pray for those who have hurt us. We can also remember that holding onto anger only punishes ourselves and that bitterness only hurts us. Instead of reacting with anger, we can strive to respond with love and mercy, just as Jesus taught us to "turn the other cheek".

By forgiving others, we open ourselves up to receive forgiveness from God and experience the freedom and peace that comes with it.

cyfaith

Pray and ask for guidance

Anger is a natural and unavoidable human emotion, even Jesus experienced it. However, as Catholics, we must master it with grace, prayer, and humility. Prayer and asking for guidance can help us to let go of anger.

If you are feeling angry, take a moment to pray before responding. Turn your frustration into a prayer: "Lord, I offer You my anger". Scripture provides clear advice on how to handle anger: "Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger" (Ephesians 4:26). Pray for guidance to respond with love and mercy, rather than wrath and hatred. Jesus told us: "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you" (Luke 6:27). Ask for help to reflect Christ's peace in your words and actions.

Pride fuels anger, so pray for humility to let go of offenses. Saint Philip Neri advised, "The best remedy for anger is silence". If something is upsetting you, take a moment to pray and ask for guidance before reacting. Pray for patience and for help to forgive others. Remember that if we do not forgive others, we shouldn't expect forgiveness ourselves: "If you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins" (Matthew 6:15).

Pray for gratitude for all the blessings in your life, and for help to overcome anger with God's support. Be thankful for the things that make you angry and allow them to strengthen your resolve to overcome them. Pray for guidance to respond in a positive way that does not cause damage to your relationships with others or with God.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is key to dealing with sinful anger. It is about giving up resentment and striving to love the person who hurt you. Pray for the person who has injured you, and if you can't do that, start by praying for a larger group, such as "all sinners in need of conversion". Ask for guidance to forgive and let go of grudges so that they don't consume you and interfere with your path to holiness.

cyfaith

Do not nurse your hurts, deal with them

As a natural and unavoidable emotion, anger is not always sinful in Catholicism—it depends on its cause and how one reacts to it. Righteous anger, such as when Jesus overturned the tables in the Temple (John 2:13-17), is controlled and directed at restoring holiness. On the other hand, sinful anger, like Cain's anger towards Abel (Genesis 4:3-8), stems from allowing wrath to turn into envy and murder.

The key to dealing with anger is to confront and address the underlying causes rather than nursing your hurts. Here are some instructive guidelines to help you deal with anger effectively:

  • Recognize and address sinful anger: Take time to approach anger with a rational mind. Calm down and reflect on why you are angry. Evaluate the significance of the situation and consider the consequences of holding onto the anger versus letting it go.
  • Offer anger as a sacrifice: Rev. Morrow suggests offering anger as a sacrifice to God and viewing it as another cross to carry. Each time the feeling arises, surrender it to God, allowing Him to lighten your burden.
  • Pray and seek forgiveness: Turn your frustration into a prayer. Ask for God's grace to be slow to anger and quick to forgive. Pray for those who have wronged you, striving to love and work for their good.
  • Practice humility: Pride fuels anger. Saint John Vianney advises, "If a tiny spark of anger arises, do not let it grow. Strangle it while it is still small." Humility enables you to let go of offenses and respond with love and mercy.
  • Master your anger: Scripture advises, "Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger" (Ephesians 4:26). Gentleness can calm conflict. Practice patience and silence before reacting, following Jesus' example of responding with love and forgiveness.
  • Seek professional help: If anger is a persistent issue, consider consulting a dependable Christian counselor or psychologist who can help identify and heal underlying psychological wounds contributing to angry outbursts.

Remember, as Catholics, we are called to master our anger with grace, prayer, and humility, transforming it into a force for goodness, patience, and love.

cyfaith

Avoid isolation and seek support

Isolation can be detrimental when dealing with anger, as it provides space for hurt and anger to fester and grow. Instead, seek support from your community and loved ones.

The Catholic Church emphasizes the importance of confession as a means to cleanse oneself of anger, pride, envy, and resentment. Speaking to a priest or a trusted confidante can help you process your emotions and gain perspective.

If you are struggling with severe anger issues, consider seeking professional help. A Christian counselor or psychologist can assist in identifying and healing the underlying causes of your anger.

Additionally, the Bible provides guidance on handling anger effectively:

> "Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your wrath." (Ephesians 4:26)

This verse encourages us to address our anger promptly and not let it fester. It is okay to feel anger, but we must not let it control our actions or damage our relationships.

Another verse advises:

> "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (Proverbs 15:1)

Here, the Bible encourages us to respond to anger with gentleness and calmness, rather than reacting harshly and escalating the situation.

Furthermore, prayer and humility are essential tools for Catholics struggling with anger. By surrendering our anger to God and seeking His peace, we can transform our anger into love and mercy.

Remember, anger is a natural and unavoidable emotion, even Jesus experienced anger during his time on earth. However, it is important to express and manage it effectively to avoid it becoming sinful.

Frequently asked questions

Anger is a natural human emotion, even Jesus experienced it. However, it is important to master anger and not let it master you. The Bible and the saints provide guidance on how to handle anger. For example, Ephesians 4:26 states: "Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger." It is okay to feel anger, but do not let it fester.

The Bible recognises that anger is a natural emotion, and that it can be moral or immoral depending on how it is expressed. For example, in Matthew 6:15, the Lord says: "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us". This highlights the importance of forgiveness in managing anger.

It is important to not let anger fester and to deal with it openly. Pride fuels anger, so approach the feeling with a rational mind and do not let a tiny spark of anger grow. Humility allows us to let go of offenses.

Praying and expressing gratitude can help to manage anger. If you are angry, take a moment to pray before responding. Also, when we are consumed with gratitude for our blessings, there is less room for anger and resentment.

Written by
Reviewed by
Share this post
Print
Did this article help you?

Leave a comment