Sarah Mitchell
The Catholic Church teaches that Mary and Joseph were betrothed, or espoused, which in ancient Israel was akin to a ratified marriage. The Protoevangelium of James, an early non-canonical gospel, explains how Mary and Joseph met, and one tradition says that a high priest played 'matchmaker' for the couple, perhaps at the behest of an archangel. Mary and Joseph had a beautiful, though not perfect, relationship, and their marriage was unconsummated until after Jesus was born.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Relationship Status | Betrothed/Espoused/Engaged |
| Age | Mary: 15, Joseph: 18 |
| Arranged By | Mary and Joseph's parents |
| Matchmaker | A high priest |
| Source | Protoevangelium of James |
| Joseph's Occupation | Carpenter |
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What You'll Learn
Mary and Joseph were betrothed, not engaged
The Bible states that Mary was "betrothed" to Joseph, not engaged. In ancient Israel, betrothal was akin to the ratification of a marriage—when a couple exchanges vows in the presence of an official witness of the Church in Catholic theology. It was a more formal commitment than just an engagement, which involves a love and intention confession. Betrothals, on the other hand, were business deals to secure a position.
Betrothals or marriage engagements in ancient times were binding and could only be terminated by an official divorce decree. Jewish custom allowed that betrothed couples be considered as husband and wife, though the marriage had not yet been consummated. The Bible states that Joseph and Mary had experienced no sexual contact with each other before they were married.
The Protoevangelium of James, an early non-canonical “Gospel” that preserved some oral tradition, explains how Mary and Joseph met. According to tradition, a high priest played ‘matchmaker’ for Mary and Joseph. This high priest likely had a vision of one of the Archangels, perhaps Gabriel.
The rite of betrothal in the Catholic Church is a formal way to start marriage preparation that differentiates it from the secular view of engagement. The ceremony centers the couple’s relationship around God, viewing their vocation as the manifestation of God’s will.
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A high priest played matchmaker
While the Bible does not explicitly state how Mary and Joseph met, one theory suggests that a high priest played matchmaker for the couple. This theory is based on the Protoevangelium of James, an early non-canonical gospel that preserved some oral traditions. According to Ryan Scheel, the high priest likely had a vision of one of the Archangels, perhaps Gabriel, who instructed him to bring Mary and Joseph together.
In Jewish culture at the time, family-arranged marriages were common. When young people reached a marriageable age, typically around fifteen for girls and eighteen for boys, their parents would arrange for them to meet, usually in the presence of a relative. However, this initial introduction did not signify a commitment to betrothal.
Betrothal, or "espousal," was a more serious stage in the marriage process, akin to the ratification of a marriage in Catholic theology. During betrothal, the husband was expected to prepare a new home with all its furnishings, while the wife prepared her trousseau, including clothing and linen. Conjugal relations and cohabitation were forbidden until after the wedding, which usually took place about a year later for first-time brides.
Mary and Joseph were betrothed when the angel Gabriel appeared to Mary, announcing that she would conceive and give birth to the Messiah. Mary accepted this divine plan, stating, "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord, may it be done to me according to your word" (Luke 1:26-38). Despite the unusual circumstances of the virginal conception, Joseph also obeyed the angel's command and took Mary as his wife, protecting her from the potential consequences of perceived infidelity.
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Joseph was a carpenter and provider
Joseph was a carpenter by trade, and he provided for his family through hard work and sacrifice. He would have worked long hours, using his hands to shape wood into useful items. In Jewish custom, it was expected that during the betrothal period, the husband would prepare the new home with all its furnishings. Joseph, as a carpenter, would have been well-suited to this task.
Joseph and Mary's relationship was based on mutual trust and obedience to God. When Mary was visited by the angel Gabriel, she was told that she would give birth to the Messiah. Despite the challenges they faced, Joseph and Mary's relationship was a beautiful one, demonstrating how to have a godly marriage. They listened to God's instructions and followed them faithfully.
Joseph was also a just and compassionate man. When he learned of Mary's pregnancy, he initially planned to divorce her quietly to protect her from shame and potential punishment. However, an angel appeared to him in a dream and told him that Mary's child was the Messiah. Joseph listened to the angel's command and took Mary as his wife, providing a stable home for her and the unborn child.
As the foster father of Jesus, Joseph played a crucial role in raising and teaching him. He set an example for Jesus to follow by immersing him in their faith. Joseph and Mary took Jesus to the temple and taught him about their beliefs, values, and traditions. Their dedication to their family and faith had a lasting impact on Jesus' life and ministry.
Joseph's role as a provider extended beyond his carpentry work. He was also responsible for ensuring the well-being and safety of his family. When it was time for Mary to give birth, Joseph made sure they travelled to Bethlehem, fulfilling the decree of Caesar Augustus. He made the journey with Mary, ensuring her comfort and safety during the long trip.
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Mary and Joseph listened to the Lord
Mary and Joseph's relationship can teach us a lot about lasting marriages and godliness. A key aspect of their relationship was their obedience to the Lord.
Mary listened to the Lord and the message from God before consulting with Joseph. In Luke 1:26-38, the angel Gabriel comes to Mary and informs her that she will be the mother of the Messiah. He tells her that she will give birth to the Saviour and explains how it will happen. Mary's response in verse 38 is: "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord, may it be done to me according to your word."
Joseph also listened to the Lord. In Matthew 1:18-25, Joseph is troubled by the news that his betrothed, Mary, is pregnant with a child he believes is not his. He is considering divorcing her quietly to avoid subjecting her to public shame and the punishment of death by stoning for infidelity. However, an angel appears to him in a dream and tells him that the child Mary carries is the Messiah and that he is to take her as his wife and raise the child as his own. Joseph obeys the angel's command, taking Mary into his home as his wife.
Mary and Joseph's obedience to God's will is a key aspect of their relationship and a guiding principle in their marriage. They listened to and followed God's instructions, even when it required them to face difficult and unexpected situations. Their faith and trust in God's plan for their lives is an example for all couples seeking to build a strong and godly marriage.
The story of Mary and Joseph's marriage is a beautiful illustration of God's providence and the importance of listening to and obeying His word. Their willingness to set aside their own plans and submit to God's will demonstrates their deep faith and trust in Him. This is a powerful reminder for couples to seek God's guidance in their marriages and to be open to His unique plan for their lives together.
While the specific details of how they met may not be known, the focus on their obedience to God and their role in bringing Jesus into the world is central to their story and its significance in the Christian faith.
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Mary and Joseph had a beautiful, godly relationship
Secondly, Joseph was a hard-working carpenter, committed to providing for his family. He worked long hours with his hands to support Mary and Jesus through his sacrifice and labour.
Thirdly, Mary and Joseph were immersed in their faith. They went on an annual pilgrimage to Jerusalem for Passover and took the 12-year-old Jesus with them. When they lost Jesus on their journey home, they raced back to Jerusalem to find him.
Finally, Mary and Joseph's relationship was based on mutual trust and understanding. When Joseph learned of Mary's pregnancy, he did not immediately assume she had been unfaithful. Instead, he contemplated the situation and sought guidance from God. Their relationship was strong enough to withstand this challenge, and they ultimately came together as husband and wife to raise Jesus as the Holy Family.
While we may not know the exact details of how Mary and Joseph met, their subsequent relationship and dedication to God and each other is an inspiring example for all couples.
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Frequently asked questions
Mary and Joseph were betrothed, which in ancient Israel was akin to a ratified marriage.
According to tradition, a high priest played 'matchmaker' for Mary and Joseph. This priest may have had a vision of one of the Archangels, perhaps Gabriel.
Betrothals or marriage engagements in ancient times were binding and could only be terminated by an official divorce decree. After the betrothal ceremony, the wife continued to live with her parents until the wedding, which was usually a year later.
No, they were Jews. Catholicism did not exist at the time of their marriage.
The Bible states that Joseph "did not know her [Mary] until she had brought forth her firstborn Son". However, the Catholic Church does not consider a marriage indissoluble until it is consummated.
