Sarah Mitchell
Confirmation is a significant milestone in the Catholic faith, and many young people look forward to it as a way to deepen their relationship with God and the Church. However, some individuals might not feel ready or willing to take on the responsibilities that come with Confirmation. They may question whether they want to make a lifelong commitment to the Catholic Church, especially if they identify as queer or have other personal reasons. While Confirmation is an important step for many Catholics, it is not an obligation, and individuals should be allowed to make their own choices regarding their religious beliefs and practices.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Age | The person is of age to make their own decision |
| Family influence | The person's family is Catholic and expects them to be confirmed |
| Personal beliefs | The person does not feel a connection to the Catholic faith |
| Life priorities | The person has other priorities in life, such as school or work |
| LGBTQ+ identity | The person is queer and feels unsupported by the Catholic Church |
| Lack of understanding | The person does not fully understand the Catholic faith |
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What You'll Learn
Not ready to make a lifelong commitment to the Catholic Church
Confirmation is a significant milestone in the Catholic faith, but it is not a decision to be taken lightly. It is a lifelong commitment to serving Christ and carrying out the Church's work, and some people may not be ready to take on this responsibility.
For some, the idea of making such a serious pledge can be daunting, especially at a young age. A person may feel they need more time to explore and strengthen their faith before making a formal commitment. This was the case for one teenager who felt they were too busy with school to take confirmation classes. A few years later, they had matured, developed a deeper interest in their faith, and were ready to take confirmation classes.
Others may feel pressured by their family or community to be confirmed, even if they are unsure about their beliefs. For instance, one person shared that they went through with confirmation at 13 because it was what their devout father wanted, but they never truly internalized the faith. It is important that individuals are confirmed out of their own free will and a genuine desire to serve God, rather than simply going through the motions to please others.
Additionally, members of the LGBTQ+ community may hesitate to be confirmed in the Catholic Church due to its historical stance on queer individuals. They may question whether they will be fully accepted and supported by their parish if they publicly acknowledge themselves as adults in the Church.
In conclusion, while confirmation is an important step for those who wish to deepen their commitment to the Catholic faith, it is not a decision that should be rushed or forced. Individuals should be allowed the time and space to discern their beliefs and make their own choice about confirmation, without feeling pressured by their family or community.
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Lack of interest in Catholicism
There are various reasons why someone might not want to be confirmed as a Catholic. One reason could be a lack of interest in the religion itself. This could stem from a variety of factors, such as a person's life priorities shifting as they get older, or a general decline in religious interest globally.
Some people may also question whether they are ready to make a lifelong commitment to the Catholic faith. This could be due to a lack of understanding of Catholic teachings or a desire to learn more at their own pace before making a formal commitment. For example, a person may wish to explore how their identity intersects with their faith, such as how their queerness might be perceived and accepted within the Catholic Church.
In some cases, individuals may feel pressured by their parents or family to get confirmed, which can lead to reluctance or resistance. Others may have had negative experiences with the Church or its teachings, causing them to distance themselves from the religion. Additionally, some people may not agree with certain Catholic beliefs or practices and may choose not to align themselves with the religion as a result.
It is worth noting that a person's relationship with Catholicism can evolve over time. For instance, they may identify as a lapsed Catholic, meaning they were raised Catholic but no longer actively practice the religion. Despite this, they may still identify with certain aspects of Catholicism and maintain a connection to the community.
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Concerns about the Catholic Church's stance on LGBTQ+ issues
The Catholic Church's stance on LGBTQ+ issues is complex and often contentious, with conflicting views between the Church and some in the LGBTQ+ community. While the Church does not consider same-sex attraction to be a sin, it regards the act of same-sex sexual activity as a grave sin against chastity. This position has developed over time, influenced by papal interventions and theologians, and remains a point of contention for many LGBTQ+ individuals and their allies within the Church.
The Church has welcomed celibate gay, lesbian, and bisexual individuals into its community, but there are concerns that it is becoming increasingly intolerant, even towards this population. There have been reports of LGBTQ+ employees in Catholic schools and parishes being dismissed after celebrating a same-sex marriage. Additionally, the Church does not recognize or perform sacramental marriages between same-sex couples, and some parishes have denied membership to LGBTQ+ individuals and families.
The Vatican's Extraordinary Synod in 2014 debated several issues related to LGBTQ+ inclusion but did not address questions regarding transgender church members. The Church has no official policy on transgender individuals, but doctrinal teachings equate birth anatomy with gender. While Pope Francis has made comments suggesting neutrality towards gay men as priests, his statement is not official church teaching, and the instruction given in 2005 under Pope Benedict still stands.
Despite these concerns, there have been calls from within the Church for increased support for LGBTQ+ individuals. Senior clergy and popes have advocated for acceptance, and pastoral care for LGBTQ+ Catholics is provided through various official and unofficial channels. Bishops have held diocesan events to minister to gay Catholics, and some Catholic organizations work for respect and justice for LGBTQ+ individuals within the Church. However, the Church's stance on homosexuality continues to be a source of disagreement, with some Catholics seeking a more inclusive approach and arguing that the current teaching violates God's unconditional love for all people.
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Not wanting to be forced to attend classes
Confirmation is a significant milestone in the Catholic faith journey. It is a lifelong commitment to the Roman Catholic faith, and a confirmed Catholic has the responsibility to serve Christ and spread the faith. However, confirmation is not compulsory, and some individuals may choose not to be confirmed.
Forcing someone to attend confirmation classes against their will can be counterproductive and may lead to resentment or a lack of genuine engagement with the teachings. It is important to respect an individual's decision regarding their religious beliefs and practices. If a person is not ready or willing to be confirmed, it may be more beneficial to encourage them to continue exploring their faith at their own pace. This could include reading Catholic literature, engaging in personal reflection, or participating in alternative forms of religious education that allow for a deeper understanding of the faith without the pressure of confirmation.
In the case of minors, parents play a crucial role in supporting their children's spiritual development. While parents may encourage their children to attend confirmation classes, ultimately, the decision to be confirmed should be left to the child. Open and respectful communication between parents and children is essential in navigating this decision.
For those who are unsure about confirmation, it may be helpful to explore the reasons behind their hesitation. Some common concerns include a lack of time or interest, discomfort with certain aspects of the Catholic Church, or a desire to forge one's own path independent of familial or cultural expectations. Addressing these concerns through self-reflection, dialogue with loved ones, or seeking guidance from a trusted religious figure can aid in making an informed decision.
While confirmation is not mandatory, it is a deeply personal choice that should be respected. Forcing attendance in confirmation classes may not be the most effective approach. Instead, fostering an environment that encourages spiritual exploration, critical thinking, and individual agency can better support an individual's relationship with their faith, whether they ultimately decide to be confirmed or not.
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Prioritising other commitments, such as school or work
Deciding to not get confirmed in the Catholic Church can be a difficult decision, especially if you come from a Catholic family or attend a Catholic school. Prioritising other commitments, such as school or work, is a valid reason for not wanting to go through with the confirmation process. Here are some thoughts on this topic:
Time Commitment
Confirmation classes can be time-consuming, especially for those with busy schedules or multiple commitments. Some individuals may feel that they do not have the time to devote to confirmation classes and would rather focus on their schoolwork or job responsibilities. This is a practical consideration, as juggling multiple obligations can be challenging.
Personal Choice
Confirmation is a personal decision, and some individuals may feel that they are not ready to make a lifelong commitment to the Catholic Church. This is especially true for young people who are still exploring their beliefs and may want to make an informed decision when they are older. It is important to respect the autonomy of individuals in this regard and allow them to choose their path.
Exploration and Understanding
For some, the confirmation process may not align with their current priorities or interests. They may want to explore their faith at their own pace, without the structure and expectations of confirmation classes. This self-guided exploration can allow for a deeper understanding of one's beliefs and a more meaningful connection to the Catholic faith.
Alternative Paths
There are alternative paths to confirmation besides formal classes. For those with busy schedules, online courses or independent study options are available. These flexible alternatives can accommodate work or school commitments while still providing an opportunity to learn about the Catholic faith.
Family and Cultural Expectations
In some Catholic families and cultures, there may be expectations or pressure to get confirmed. Balancing these expectations with personal priorities can be challenging. It is important to communicate openly with family members and explain your reasons for prioritising other commitments. Respectful dialogue can help bridge differences and foster understanding.
Ultimately, the decision to prioritise other commitments over confirmation is a personal one. It is important to respect an individual's choice and allow them to navigate their relationship with the Catholic faith in a way that feels authentic and meaningful to them.
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Frequently asked questions
Confirmation in the Catholic Church is a personal choice and should be left to the individual. It is not uncommon for people to choose not to be confirmed during their teenage years, only to decide to pursue confirmation later in life.
While there is no simple "yes" or "no" answer to this question, the Code of Canon Law recommends that Catholics receive the sacraments of confirmation, penance, and the Eucharist before being admitted to marriage. However, this is not a requirement for the validity of the marriage.
In this case, you may feel pressured to get confirmed eventually, especially if you want to baptize your children or get married in the Catholic Church. It is a personal decision that depends on your beliefs and values.
It is important to respect your child's decision and have an open and honest conversation with them about their feelings. You can encourage them to continue learning about the Catholic faith and explore their spirituality, but ultimately, the choice to be confirmed should be theirs.
Some individuals may choose not to be confirmed due to a lack of personal connection with the Catholic faith or disagreement with certain teachings, especially regarding LGBTQ+ inclusion. Others may feel that they are not ready to make a lifelong commitment to the Catholic Church or want to explore other spiritual paths.
