Sarah Mitchell
The fourth commandment, Honor thy father and mother, is one of the most well-known tenets of the Catholic faith. It is a commandment that is addressed to children in their relationship with their parents, which is considered the most universal bond. This commandment also extends to the ties of kinship beyond the nuclear family, including extended family and other authority figures. While the commandment is often interpreted as a child's obligation to obey their parents, it is important to understand that honouring one's parents encompasses more than just obedience. It includes respect, gratitude, and assistance, particularly in times of need. This commandment is rooted in the belief that parents are vested with God's authority and that honouring them is a way to honour God. While obedience to parents is a part of this commandment, it is not the sole focus, and the level of obedience may change as children grow older and become emancipated.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Children's relationship with their parents | Honour, respect, obedience, gratitude, affection |
| Children's relationship with their extended family | Honour, respect, gratitude, affection |
| Pupils' relationship with their teachers | Honour, respect |
| Employees' relationship with their employers | Honour, respect |
| Subordinates' relationship with their leaders | Honour, respect |
| Citizens' relationship with their country | Honour, respect |
| Children's relationship with God | Honour, obedience, respect |
| Adults' relationship with their parents | Respect, material and moral support |
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What You'll Learn
Honouring parents includes showing respect and obedience
The fourth commandment, "Honour thy father and mother", is one of the Ten Commandments and is addressed to children in their relationship with their parents. Honouring one's parents includes showing respect and obedience, and this commandment also extends to the duties of pupils to teachers, employees to employers, and citizens to their country.
According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, "The divine fatherhood is the source of human fatherhood; this is the foundation of the honour owed to parents. The respect of children, whether minors or adults, for their father and mother is nourished by the natural affection born of the bond uniting them." This respect and obedience towards parents are rooted in the fear of God and natural affection. It is a way for children to show their trust that their parents know what is best for them and for the common good of the family.
Obedience towards parents is an important aspect of honouring them. Children are called to obey their parents as long as they are supported by them, especially in matters concerning the common good of the family. This obedience is a reflection of their obedience to God, as they respect God in their parents even if they disagree with their wishes. However, if a child feels called to carry out God's will in a particular vocation, their obligation is to follow God's plan for them.
As children grow up, their obedience to their parents may evolve, but respect should always remain. Once children are emancipated and no longer minors, their obligation to obey their parents ceases, and the relationship becomes more adult-to-adult. Even as adults, children should continue to respect their parents and provide them with material and moral support in old age, illness, or times of distress.
Honouring parents is not only a way to show respect and gratitude but also a way to honour God, our Heavenly Father. By adhering to the fourth commandment, we reflect on our relationship with God and bring harmony to our families.
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Honouring elders and ancestors
Honouring one's parents is a central tenet of Catholic teaching, and the fourth commandment expressly addresses children's relationships with their parents. This commandment also extends to elders and ancestors in the wider family, including the ties of kinship beyond the nuclear family unit. Honouring elders and ancestors in the family is a way to show gratitude and love, and it is underpinned by the belief that God has willed that we honour our parents, to whom we owe life and who have imparted to us the knowledge of God.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church outlines that children, whether minors or adults, should respect their parents, and this respect is rooted in the natural affection born of the familial bond. This respect is also a form of piety, or filial piety, and it is shown through obedience. However, the level of obedience owed to parents changes as a child grows up and becomes emancipated. While minors are obliged to obey their parents, this obligation ceases with emancipation, and respect, rather than obedience, becomes the primary way to honour parents.
The fourth commandment also extends beyond the family unit, influencing the relationships between pupils and teachers, employees and employers, subordinates and leaders, and citizens and their country. Honouring elders and ancestors in these contexts is also about showing respect and gratitude, which contributes to harmony in society.
In summary, honouring elders and ancestors in the Catholic faith is about showing respect, gratitude, and obedience (where appropriate) to those who are elders or ancestors in one's family and community. This commandment is a way to honour God, who is reflected in our earthly relationships, and it brings spiritual and temporal fruits of peace and prosperity.
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Honouring duties to teachers, employers, leaders, etc
Honouring duties are a key part of the fourth commandment in Catholicism. This commandment is addressed to children in their relationship to their parents, as this relationship is the most universal. However, it also extends to the duties of pupils to teachers, employees to employers, subordinates to leaders, and citizens to their country.
The commandment to honour one's parents is not just about respect and obedience, but also about gratitude and love. Children are called to listen to their parents and honour their wishes, as well as to provide material and moral support in old age and times of illness, loneliness, or distress. This support is a duty of justice, as the child is relying on their parents by living at home. While the family bond remains, the relationship between adult children and their parents is adult-to-adult, not adult-to-child.
Obedience is a key part of honouring one's parents. Children honour their parents and God by obeying them and God's law. This obedience is an expression of trust in the parents' love and care and is a way of mirroring the obedience that God asks of his followers. However, this obedience is not absolute; it ceases when a child becomes an adult and forms their own family. It also does not apply if parents command something immoral.
Honouring duties to teachers, employers, leaders, and the country are an extension of the duties owed to parents. These duties are based on the authority that these figures hold and the respect and gratitude that is owed to them. For example, employees are called to be obedient to their employers, and employers are called to treat their employees with respect.
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Honouring parents by obeying God's law
Honouring one's parents is a central tenet of Catholicism, and it is one of the Ten Commandments. The Catechism outlines that the "divine fatherhood is the source of human fatherhood", and this is the basis of the honour owed to parents. This honour is a lifelong duty, and it is a way of showing gratitude and love to parents.
The fourth commandment, addressed to children in their relationship with their parents, requires honour, affection, and gratitude towards elders and ancestors. It also extends to duties in other relationships, such as pupils to teachers, citizens to the country, and employees to employers. Honouring parents brings its own reward, as stated in the Bible: "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which the LORD your God gives you."
Obedience is a key part of honouring parents. Children are obliged to obey their parents, as long as they are minors and living under their roof. This obedience is a way of showing trust in the parents' care and knowledge of what is best for the child and the family. Even Jesus, despite being the Son of God, obeyed his parents. However, if a child feels called to a particular vocation, they must follow God's will above their parents' wishes.
Once a child is emancipated and no longer a minor, obedience is no longer required. However, respect is always due, and adult children should provide material and moral support to their parents in old age, sickness, loneliness, or distress. This respect and support is a way of showing gratitude to the parents who gave them life and raised them.
Honouring one's parents is not only about respecting them but also about honouring God, the Heavenly Father. By seeing glimpses of God in their parents, children can obey and honour their parents, even when it is difficult.
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Honouring parents by seeking their advice
Honouring one's parents is a central tenet of the Catholic faith. The fourth commandment expressly addresses children in their relationship to their parents, as this relationship is considered the most universal. It also concerns the ties of kinship between members of the extended family.
According to the Catechism, "respect for parents (filial piety) derives from gratitude toward those who, by the gift of life, their love and their work, have brought their children into the world and enabled them to grow in stature, wisdom, and grace." Filial respect is shown through docility and obedience. As such, children are called to listen to their parents, honour their wishes, and seek their advice.
However, it is important to note that obedience towards parents is not absolute. Once children reach adulthood or emancipation, they are no longer morally obligated to obey their parents, even if they still live at home. At this stage, the relationship becomes adult-to-adult, and respect, rather than obedience, becomes the primary duty.
Seeking the advice of one's parents is a way to honour them and show gratitude for the gift of life. It is a recognition of the knowledge and experience that parents have gained throughout their lives. By asking for their advice, children acknowledge the value of their parents' insights and perspective, which can provide guidance and support in decision-making.
Additionally, seeking parental advice can strengthen family bonds and foster harmony within the family. It demonstrates a willingness to remain connected to one's parents and value their opinions, even as one grows older and gains independence. This act of honouring one's parents is not merely a duty but also a way to nurture healthy family relationships and find spiritual fulfilment.
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Frequently asked questions
The fourth commandment states: "Honor your father and your mother , that your days may be long in the land which the LORD your God gives you."
Honouring one's parents involves showing respect, gratitude, and obedience to them. This includes listening to them, seeking their advice, and accepting their admonitions. Honouring parents also means providing material and moral support to them in their old age, sickness, loneliness, or distress.
A child's obligation to obey their parents ceases when they become emancipated or form their own family. However, respect for parents should always be maintained, even after emancipation.
